Your joy is meaningful. Your hope is meaningful. Your clarity of conscience is meaningful. Every minute of integrated exuberance you experience makes a difference in this world
A new moon, 11/11, and Friday the 13th are all happening in the same week
With 11/11, Friday the 13th, a new moon, and Mercury retrograde ending, some are seeing it as a week of major energy shifts. From fresh starts and making wishes to letting go of the past, each event carries its own meaning.
Certain people don’t want to you to achieve clarity and wholeness on your healing journey. They want you to barely survive and continue scraping by, confused and codependent so they can mold you into the shape that suits them best
Do you think you know my pain deeper than me? That I needed you to remind me? Do you think you know my body under threat more intimately than I do? The callousness and entitlement that led you to believe my suffering was now an inside joke is the same that allowed you to jab at my deepest wounds as if I had forgotten them and forgotten my place.
What do we call this? Emotional overwriting? You think you can put a timestamp on my pain, pause it and come back to it, decide how long it plays? You think we are just background processes with no awareness waiting for you to jump in and give us a storyline at whim?
If you had any respect for the rehabilitative work I did and do MYSELF, present continuous, you would not have attempted to swoop in expecting to take credit and derail progress for free. You had decided my deepest wounds were your personal domain, that you had as much right to access them at will as I did. And if I did not show them to you that meant they must no longer exist and my ungrateful ass needed to be reminded of my devastation.
You are evil, that’s the unfortunate truth. And you don’t even know it. But watching somebody survive the unimaginable and deciding they must feel nothing because their spirit is not yet broken is a special type of malevolence. You really do just think us flesh on a spectrum, that only you could collate and color code. The idea that I could need privacy to assess and repair the damage you caused was unimaginable. You had declared yourself groundskeeper for a place you only visited quarterly, in the state of utmost emergency. But you don’t know what it takes to maintain sanity daily, to self soothe without symbiotics and stimulants. That’s why you could jump at the opportunity to reintroduce a pathogen I was still building antibodies for.
Absolutely not. This is my home and holistic center, and I will protect it at all costs. You do not get to disrupt my treatment plan with your doomsday diagnosis. This is not hospice, I did not come here for you to watch me die at intervals. I will not apologize for my recovery. Find another haus to munch on
One of the most painful realizations of the past few years was realizing how many straight people don’t see queerphobia as something that affects people’s daily lives. To them it’s just some “bad words” you can’t say at dinner anymore
All the people who wanted to see me depleted, defeated, destroyed. You will suffer under the weight of your folly for the rest of your miserable lives. Crushed by the magnitude of my success. Consumed by the evil you wished on me. Justice is served. Eat up bitches!