UPDATE ON GERALD AND THE CROW SITUATION:
Things have escalated.
I repeat.
THINGS HAVE FUCKING ESCALATED.
For those of you just joining us, yesterday I accidentally entered into diplomatic relations with a gang of crows after Gerald stole my good spoon.
Well.
This morning I walked outside and Gerald was waiting for me.
Alone.
Standing directly in the middle of my driveway.
No screaming.
No hopping around.
Just staring at me like a tiny feathered loan shark who had come to collect.
I said, “Morning, Gerald.”
He tilted his head.
I gave him a walnut.
He did not eat it.
Instead, this motherfucker picked it up, walked three steps to the left, PUT IT DOWN, and stared at me again.
Message received.
The offering was insufficient.
So I went back inside and got more walnuts.
When I returned…
THERE WERE NINE CROWS.
Nine.
Yesterday there were seven.
Gerald is fucking recruiting.
And they were arranged in a SEMICIRCLE.
This isn’t a bird friendship anymore.
I’m funding organized crime.
I distributed the walnuts because apparently I pay protection money now.
Everything seemed fine until one of the smaller crows tried taking two.
Gerald immediately screamed at him.
The little one dropped the second walnut.
I have accidentally created an economy.
Gerald controls distribution.
There’s a hierarchy.
There are consequences.
I’m pretty sure I witnessed a disciplinary hearing before breakfast.
Then Gerald flew away.
I thought we were done.
WE WERE NOT DONE.
Twenty minutes later I looked outside and there was something sitting where Gerald had been standing.
A bottle cap.
A shiny rock.
And…
MY FUCKING SPOON.
HE RETURNED THE SPOON.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I believe we have successfully negotiated a trade agreement.
Unfortunately, there is now a crow sitting on my mailbox.
So I still cannot get my fucking mail.
I tried approaching.
He puffed up.
I backed away.
That mailbox belongs to the organization now.
At this point I’m just a tenant.
Anyway, Gerald has officially been promoted to General Gerald, Commander of the Driveway, First of His Name, Keeper of the Good Spoon, Lord of the Power Line, Collector of Walnuts, and Regional Manager of Whatever The Fuck Is Happening Here.
I’ll keep everyone updated.
But if I suddenly stop posting…
Gerald found out I told you.
OK, OK. We'll admit it. The 1843 first edition of "A Christmas Carol" (of which the Library has 3 copies!) is the quintessential version of the story. (But "The Muppet Christmas Carol" is a close second!) Stephanie Stillo, chief of the Rare Book Division, gives us a closer look.
Morgan Freeman stopped by recently to learn more about the 761st Tank Battalion, known as “the Black Panthers.” The Library holds the two known existing copies of a book about the segregated WWII Army unit that was referenced for an upcoming documentary that Freeman worked on.
"One more thing," the patient says, right when I'm about to exit the exam room.
I used to be annoyed by it. Until one day, a patient's "one more thing" was actually "the" thing she wanted to say. But she needed to feel me out and make sure I was a safe person first. So, I sat back down and listened. Then we discussed and ran tests.
"You restored my faith in doctors." She took the bus just to tell me this today after making a full recovery. Her visit filled my heart with warmth and purpose.
If we ask people to wait for months for their appointments, then (sometimes) hours in our offices, we can hear them out for their one more thing.
70+ years after the Civil War, the WPA Federal Writers' Project began interviewing elderly Americans who remembered being enslaved. This collection is at the Library & this narrative from Sarah Gudger, age 121, is just one amazing piece of it. https://t.co/RPpE96RzKD #Juneteenth
For National Nurses Month we're taking a look at collection items that tell the story of Rebecca Pomroy, a Civil War nurse who also helped the Lincoln family through a period of illness and grief at the White House.
Learn more: https://t.co/KJW5dbL2gF
Today my great grandmother, Lily Ebert, an Auschwitz survivor, turns 99!
“I never thought I would survive Auschwitz and have another birthday. At 99, I celebrate to show that the Nazis did not win!”
All #HappyBirthdayLily wishes and comments will be passed on to Lily. ❤️
Anna May Wong, the first Chinese American film star, is featured on the latest American Women Quarters Program coin. It's the first time an Asian American's likeness has appeared on U.S. currency.
Read up on Wong in historic newspapers via @ChronAmLOC: https://t.co/Unv5DcsiKt