Sometimes I feel silly for still grieving my papa this hard, even 10 years later. I've forgotten his laugh. His smell. Little details I thought I'd never lose.
I resonate so much with Ilya. Funny how fiction can put words to real grief.
ilya forgetting his moms voice and how she smelt as he gets older and some nights when he’s with shane he cries and all shane can do is soothe him and tell him that irina will always be with him since their souls are tied and he can always find her in the stars
" i lav you" "i lav you"
Having to watch Ilya slowly become a shell of himself next season because he thinks he's failing both as a player and captain🙁🙁
i just want to feel wanted & remembered & i feel like the loneliest most pathetic person bc anytime i meet someone i feel i have a genuine connection to & get Attached they Always Already have someone Better & Came Before who will always be Better Than Me. i am never good enough
i’ve lost so much of my life to mental health issues that it seems no matter how much i run i am always behind everyone else in life & idk if i have what it takes to ever Catch Up. grieving what could’ve been