There was this other guy in high school who hated me so fucking much while I had the biggest crush on him. It’s been years already but sometimes I be reminded of him and how sad the whole situation was
I am constantly reminded of my lack of experience. Still a virgin. Always been single. I’ve been craving for a connection for years and it came to the point where I am fully convinced I am destined to live and die alone, untouched and unloved.
He stopped talking to me which sucks but my paranoid ass thinks that maybe he found this account and clocked this is me oh my god and that’s like the main reason why he stopped talking to me
He talked to one of my best friends when he could’ve just talk to me and that makes me feel even worse because the conversation was about something I really like and he knows I like that thing but preferred to talk to someone he never talked to before
The other day I was talking to a guy that I thought was cute but then he mentioned how ugly Sonic characters are but like in an attractive way and I felt like a fucking freak because the amount of times I jerked off with a picture of Shadow the hedgehog is insane
Sometimes I wonder if my death would inspire someone not because they’re close to me or think of me in an endearing way, but because they’d found out someone they once talked to actually did it
I find it oddly beautiful, how someone may find me, hanging from the ceiling, all alone by myself and maybe the idea of a rope around their own neck may be closer than they’d thought
Every time I think about killing myself I try to imagine the most painless death for me, I then look at my ceiling and realize how pretty I’d look hanging by my neck