Marriage is Sunnah

Marriage Mentorship

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am from a lower middle-class family. After graduating, I got a job that paid a good salary and also provided benefits like lunch and transportation. But suddenly my boss started taking personal interest in me and began calling me at night. It made me very uncomfortable and scared, so I shared it with my family. They advised me to resign from the job.

My family members are in good positions, and when they promised they would help me find something else, I trusted them and resigned. But now it has been one and a half years and I am still jobless. Nobody really helped me, though they continue giving me false hope. My parents are old, and it hurts me to see that they even avoid going to the doctor because of financial difficulties.

Every day I ask Allah for help, but deep inside I feel confused and regretful. Sometimes I think Allah gave me a good opportunity and I ruined it by making a rushed decision. I feel like maybe I should have stayed calm before resigning. I am depressed and constantly overthinking whether I lost something that Allah had written for me. At the same time, I remind myself that if something was truly meant for me, it would never have missed me. Right now, I feel completely lost and hopeless. What should I do?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am from a lower middle-class family. After graduating, I got a job that paid a good salary and also provided benefits like lunch and transportation. But suddenly my boss started taking personal interest in me and began calling me at night. It made me very uncomfortable and scared, so I shared it with my family. They advised me to resign from the job.

My family members are in good positions, and when they promised they would help me find something else, I trusted them and resigned. But now it has been one and a half years and I am still jobless. Nobody really helped me, though they continue giving me false hope. My parents are old, and it hurts me to see that they even avoid going to the doctor because of financial difficulties.

Every day I ask Allah for help, but deep inside I feel confused and regretful. Sometimes I think Allah gave me a good opportunity and I ruined it by making a rushed decision. I feel like maybe I should have stayed calm before resigning. I am depressed and constantly overthinking whether I lost something that Allah had written for me. At the same time, I remind myself that if something was truly meant for me, it would never have missed me. Right now, I feel completely lost and hopeless. What should I do?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am from a lower middle-class family. After graduating, I got a job that paid a good salary and also provided benefits like lunch and transportation. But suddenly my boss started taking personal interest in me and began calling me at night. It made me very uncomfortable and scared, so I shared it with my family. They advised me to resign from the job.

My family members are in good positions, and when they promised they would help me find something else, I trusted them and resigned. But now it has been one and a half years and I am still jobless. Nobody really helped me, though they continue giving me false hope. My parents are old, and it hurts me to see that they even avoid going to the doctor because of financial difficulties.

Every day I ask Allah for help, but deep inside I feel confused and regretful. Sometimes I think Allah gave me a good opportunity and I ruined it by making a rushed decision. I feel like maybe I should have stayed calm before resigning. I am depressed and constantly overthinking whether I lost something that Allah had written for me. At the same time, I remind myself that if something was truly meant for me, it would never have missed me. Right now, I feel completely lost and hopeless. What should I do?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am from a lower middle-class family. After graduating, I got a job that paid a good salary and also provided benefits like lunch and transportation. But suddenly my boss started taking personal interest in me and began calling me at night. It made me very uncomfortable and scared, so I shared it with my family. They advised me to resign from the job.

My family members are in good positions, and when they promised they would help me find something else, I trusted them and resigned. But now it has been one and a half years and I am still jobless. Nobody really helped me, though they continue giving me false hope. My parents are old, and it hurts me to see that they even avoid going to the doctor because of financial difficulties.

Every day I ask Allah for help, but deep inside I feel confused and regretful. Sometimes I think Allah gave me a good opportunity and I ruined it by making a rushed decision. I feel like maybe I should have stayed calm before resigning. I am depressed and constantly overthinking whether I lost something that Allah had written for me. At the same time, I remind myself that if something was truly meant for me, it would never have missed me. Right now, I feel completely lost and hopeless. What should I do?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am from a lower middle-class family. After graduating, I got a job that paid a good salary and also provided benefits like lunch and transportation. But suddenly my boss started taking personal interest in me and began calling me at night. It made me very uncomfortable and scared, so I shared it with my family. They advised me to resign from the job.

My family members are in good positions, and when they promised they would help me find something else, I trusted them and resigned. But now it has been one and a half years and I am still jobless. Nobody really helped me, though they continue giving me false hope. My parents are old, and it hurts me to see that they even avoid going to the doctor because of financial difficulties.

Every day I ask Allah for help, but deep inside I feel confused and regretful. Sometimes I think Allah gave me a good opportunity and I ruined it by making a rushed decision. I feel like maybe I should have stayed calm before resigning. I am depressed and constantly overthinking whether I lost something that Allah had written for me. At the same time, I remind myself that if something was truly meant for me, it would never have missed me. Right now, I feel completely lost and hopeless. What should I do?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am from a lower middle-class family. After graduating, I got a job that paid a good salary and also provided benefits like lunch and transportation. But suddenly my boss started taking personal interest in me and began calling me at night. It made me very uncomfortable and scared, so I shared it with my family. They advised me to resign from the job.

My family members are in good positions, and when they promised they would help me find something else, I trusted them and resigned. But now it has been one and a half years and I am still jobless. Nobody really helped me, though they continue giving me false hope. My parents are old, and it hurts me to see that they even avoid going to the doctor because of financial difficulties.

Every day I ask Allah for help, but deep inside I feel confused and regretful. Sometimes I think Allah gave me a good opportunity and I ruined it by making a rushed decision. I feel like maybe I should have stayed calm before resigning. I am depressed and constantly overthinking whether I lost something that Allah had written for me. At the same time, I remind myself that if something was truly meant for me, it would never have missed me. Right now, I feel completely lost and hopeless. What should I do?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I have been married for several years and have three children. My husband was a very caring husband and father in the beginning, and I left my work to take care of our children while he focused on his business.

About two years ago, I discovered that he was cheating and having inappropriate relationships with other women, including someone I trusted as a close friend. He apologized, cried, and promised it would never happen again, but later I discovered similar things again.

During my third pregnancy, our relationship became extremely difficult. There was a lot of fighting, emotional and verbal abuse, and there were also times when he became physically abusive. I still tried to save the marriage for the sake of our children.

After I delivered our third baby, he changed significantly and started making a serious effort to repair the marriage and regain my trust. I can see his efforts, but after everything that happened, I am struggling to trust him again.

My biggest concern is that he is still in contact with one of the women. He says it is only because of a financial matter and that he signed some papers with her. He claims that once he pays her, all contact will end. However, whenever I ask what papers were signed or what exactly this financial matter involves, he refuses to explain and remains silent.

I have told him that if he cannot be completely truthful and transparent with me, I want a separation or divorce. He says he does not want to end the marriage and wants to fix our family.

Islamically, should I continue giving this marriage a chance when trust has been broken repeatedly? Do I have the right to ask him to explain this connection and be transparent with me? And if he continues hiding the truth and refuses to divorce me, what options do I have?

The biggest issue is that I cannot forget what happened. I am trying, but I simply cannot move past it.

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Sister, what you are experiencing is understandable. Trust is not something that disappears in a single day, nor is it rebuilt in a single day. Islam encourages forgiveness and reconciliation when genuine repentance exists, but it does not require a person to pretend that repeated betrayal, dishonesty, emotional abuse, and physical abuse never happened. The fact that you are struggling to trust him does not necessarily mean you are being unforgiving—it may simply mean that your heart is still wounded. Real repentance is not only tears and apologies; it is also honesty, accountability, transparency, and a sincere effort to remove the causes of distrust. If your husband genuinely wants to rebuild the marriage, then it is reasonable for him to understand why you need clarity about an ongoing connection with a woman who was previously involved in the breakdown of trust.

You have the right to seek reassurance and transparency regarding matters that directly affect your marriage and trust. At the same time, before making a final decision, try to distinguish between what is happening now and what happened in the past. If he is truly changing, that is something to consider. However, if he continues hiding important information, refuses reasonable explanations, or expects trust while withholding honesty, then the wound remains open. Continue seeking Allah's guidance, involve a trustworthy scholar, counselor, or respected mediator if possible, and do not force yourself to make a decision purely out of anger or fear. If, after sincere efforts, trust cannot be rebuilt and the marriage continues to be a source of ongoing harm, Islam provides avenues for separation. But if there is genuine change, accountability, and transparency, there may still be room for healing. Remember that healing does not mean forgetting; sometimes it means learning to move forward despite the scars.

May Allah heal your heart, guide your husband to complete honesty and sincere repentance, protect your children, and grant you clarity, peace, and the decision that is best for your faith and your future. Ameen 🤲

And Allah knows best.

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I have been married for several years and have three children. My husband was a very caring husband and father in the beginning, and I left my work to take care of our children while he focused on his business.

About two years ago, I discovered that he was cheating and having inappropriate relationships with other women, including someone I trusted as a close friend. He apologized, cried, and promised it would never happen again, but later I discovered similar things again.

During my third pregnancy, our relationship became extremely difficult. There was a lot of fighting, emotional and verbal abuse, and there were also times when he became physically abusive. I still tried to save the marriage for the sake of our children.

After I delivered our third baby, he changed significantly and started making a serious effort to repair the marriage and regain my trust. I can see his efforts, but after everything that happened, I am struggling to trust him again.

My biggest concern is that he is still in contact with one of the women. He says it is only because of a financial matter and that he signed some papers with her. He claims that once he pays her, all contact will end. However, whenever I ask what papers were signed or what exactly this financial matter involves, he refuses to explain and remains silent.

I have told him that if he cannot be completely truthful and transparent with me, I want a separation or divorce. He says he does not want to end the marriage and wants to fix our family.

Islamically, should I continue giving this marriage a chance when trust has been broken repeatedly? Do I have the right to ask him to explain this connection and be transparent with me? And if he continues hiding the truth and refuses to divorce me, what options do I have?

The biggest issue is that I cannot forget what happened. I am trying, but I simply cannot move past it.

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Is it common for married men to watch P0rn0graphy?

When I asked my husband about it, he told me that many men watch it and that it is common among men. I asked him why he watches it, especially since we have a normal intimate relationship and he says he is satisfied with me. His response was that it is not related to our intimacy and that he simply wants to watch it.

What confuses me is that my husband has good Islamic knowledge. He prays, fasts, gives charity, reads his adhkar, and is generally committed to many aspects of Islam. Yet he continues doing something he knows is wrong.

Should I ignore this and not make it a big issue, or should I continue talking to him about it? When I raised the subject, he admitted that he watches it, but he did not say that he intended to stop. Instead, he said, “Keep watching me all the time so that I can’t do it.”

What is the correct Islamic way for me to deal with this situation?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Is it common for married men to watch P0rn0graphy?

When I asked my husband about it, he told me that many men watch it and that it is common among men. I asked him why he watches it, especially since we have a normal intimate relationship and he says he is satisfied with me. His response was that it is not related to our intimacy and that he simply wants to watch it.

What confuses me is that my husband has good Islamic knowledge. He prays, fasts, gives charity, reads his adhkar, and is generally committed to many aspects of Islam. Yet he continues doing something he knows is wrong.

Should I ignore this and not make it a big issue, or should I continue talking to him about it? When I raised the subject, he admitted that he watches it, but he did not say that he intended to stop. Instead, he said, “Keep watching me all the time so that I can’t do it.”

What is the correct Islamic way for me to deal with this situation?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Is it common for married men to watch P0rn0graphy?

When I asked my husband about it, he told me that many men watch it and that it is common among men. I asked him why he watches it, especially since we have a normal intimate relationship and he says he is satisfied with me. His response was that it is not related to our intimacy and that he simply wants to watch it.

What confuses me is that my husband has good Islamic knowledge. He prays, fasts, gives charity, reads his adhkar, and is generally committed to many aspects of Islam. Yet he continues doing something he knows is wrong.

Should I ignore this and not make it a big issue, or should I continue talking to him about it? When I raised the subject, he admitted that he watches it, but he did not say that he intended to stop. Instead, he said, “Keep watching me all the time so that I can’t do it.”

What is the correct Islamic way for me to deal with this situation?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Is it common for married men to watch P0rn0graphy?

When I asked my husband about it, he told me that many men watch it and that it is common among men. I asked him why he watches it, especially since we have a normal intimate relationship and he says he is satisfied with me. His response was that it is not related to our intimacy and that he simply wants to watch it.

What confuses me is that my husband has good Islamic knowledge. He prays, fasts, gives charity, reads his adhkar, and is generally committed to many aspects of Islam. Yet he continues doing something he knows is wrong.

Should I ignore this and not make it a big issue, or should I continue talking to him about it? When I raised the subject, he admitted that he watches it, but he did not say that he intended to stop. Instead, he said, “Keep watching me all the time so that I can’t do it.”

What is the correct Islamic way for me to deal with this situation?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Sister, the fact that many men may watch pornography does not make it acceptable or normal from an Islamic perspective. Pornography is clearly prohibited in Islam because it involves looking at what Allah has forbidden and fuels desires outside the halal boundaries of marriage. It is also important to understand that a person's good deeds in other areas do not automatically protect them from particular sins. Many sincere Muslims struggle with specific weaknesses while remaining committed to prayer, fasting, and other acts of worship. That does not excuse the sin, but it helps explain how someone can pray regularly and still fall into this behavior. Your husband's statement that it is his "personal matter" is not entirely accurate because sins that affect trust, intimacy, and emotional security within a marriage inevitably become a marital matter.

At the same time, do not ignore it and do not become his police officer. Constant monitoring rarely cures an addiction or habit. Instead, he must personally accept responsibility before Allah and make a sincere effort to stop. Research has frequently linked pornography use with poorer relationship quality, lower marital satisfaction, secrecy, and relationship distress. You should continue addressing the issue calmly and firmly, focusing on its impact on your marriage rather than attacking his character. Encourage practical steps: removing access, installing accountability software, avoiding triggers, increasing Qur'an and dhikr, and seeking professional or pastoral support if the habit is entrenched. A husband who truly values his marriage should not be content with a habit that causes his wife pain and damages trust. Loving advice, sincere dua, and clear boundaries are more beneficial than silence or endless arguments.

May Allah purify our hearts and eyes, protect our marriages from every hidden harm, grant sincere repentance to those who struggle with temptation, and fill our homes with trust, love, and barakah. Ameen 🤲

And Allah knows best.

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Is it common for married men to watch P0rn0graphy?

When I asked my husband about it, he told me that many men watch it and that it is common among men. I asked him why he watches it, especially since we have a normal intimate relationship and he says he is satisfied with me. His response was that it is not related to our intimacy and that he simply wants to watch it.

What confuses me is that my husband has good Islamic knowledge. He prays, fasts, gives charity, reads his adhkar, and is generally committed to many aspects of Islam. Yet he continues doing something he knows is wrong.

Should I ignore this and not make it a big issue, or should I continue talking to him about it? When I raised the subject, he admitted that he watches it, but he did not say that he intended to stop. Instead, he said, “Keep watching me all the time so that I can’t do it.”

What is the correct Islamic way for me to deal with this situation?

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am 19 years old. My parents are separated, and I live with my mother and my aunt. My aunt was very good to us in the beginning, but things gradually changed. Some religious people have told us that my father may have done black magic on us.

My mother depends heavily on my aunt and is strongly influenced by her opinions. I often feel ignored and unheard. My aunt wants me to marry her son, and my mother also insists on it. I have refused from the very beginning, but my mother makes me feel guilty and tells me that I am not a good daughter if I do not agree.

I spoke to a friend about my situation, as friends often do, but she betrayed my trust and told everything to my cousin, including my complaints about my aunt's behavior and my mother's lack of support. I regret sharing these things and feel guilty because my aunt has helped raise and support me.

My mother does not believe me when I explain my feelings. Even when I cry, she says I am acting. I feel as though I have lost both my father and my mother emotionally. I am depressed, exhausted, and do not know what to do. Please advise me according to Islam and give me a dua for depression and sadness.

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am 19 years old. My parents are separated, and I live with my mother and my aunt. My aunt was very good to us in the beginning, but things gradually changed. Some religious people have told us that my father may have done black magic on us.

My mother depends heavily on my aunt and is strongly influenced by her opinions. I often feel ignored and unheard. My aunt wants me to marry her son, and my mother also insists on it. I have refused from the very beginning, but my mother makes me feel guilty and tells me that I am not a good daughter if I do not agree.

I spoke to a friend about my situation, as friends often do, but she betrayed my trust and told everything to my cousin, including my complaints about my aunt's behavior and my mother's lack of support. I regret sharing these things and feel guilty because my aunt has helped raise and support me.

My mother does not believe me when I explain my feelings. Even when I cry, she says I am acting. I feel as though I have lost both my father and my mother emotionally. I am depressed, exhausted, and do not know what to do. Please advise me according to Islam and give me a dua for depression and sadness.

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

Sister, In Islam, obedience to the husband is not absolute when it involves something sinful or unjust. The Prophet ﷺ said: “There is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator.” Abortion is a very serious matter in Islam because the unborn child’s life is sacred and entrusted by Allah. A husband does not have the right to force his wife to terminate a pregnancy without a valid Islamic and medical reason. Fear of finances, age gap between children, inconvenience, or personal dislike of pregnancy are not automatically sufficient reasons to abort a child. This baby is not a mistake in the sight of Allah — every soul is created by His wisdom and decree. Your husband should fear Allah regarding both you and this unborn child, and he should not emotionally pressure or isolate you to force such a decision.

At the same time, try to keep communication calm and respectful instead of turning the home into constant conflict. Involve a trustworthy Islamic scholar or elder if necessary so your husband can hear balanced Islamic guidance from someone he respects. Make sincere istikhara and dua, and ask Allah to soften hearts and guide your family toward what is right. Sometimes children come unexpectedly but later become among the greatest sources of mercy and barakah in a family. Trust Allah more than fear and pressure. The One who created this child is also the One who provides, protects, and plans every soul’s rizq and future.

May Allah protect you and your child, soften your husband’s heart, and guide your family toward mercy, wisdom, and what is pleasing to Allah. Ameen 🤲

And Allah knows best.

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

I am pregnant with my third child, and my eldest son is already 16 years old. My husband is strongly forcing me to abort this baby. He has stopped talking to me properly and keeps saying that it is obligatory upon a wife to obey her husband. I feel emotionally pressured and confused because I do not know whether I am Islamically required to obey him in this matter or not. Please guide me according to Islam about what I should do.

#Anonymous

[Marriage is Sunnah @Annurtijani]

My husband married another woman 8 months ago and I did not know about it. When I married him, he already had 8 children from different mothers, and I later gave birth to 2 children of my own.

We are living in a rented house and struggling financially. One of his children is sick and only 6 years old, but my husband says he does not have enough money to take the child to the hospital. Our children are sleeping in a hall because there is not enough space. I asked him to rent a two-bedroom home for the children, but he says he does not have the money.

What breaks my heart is that he says he has no money for medical treatment, no money for better accommodation, and no money for the children's needs, yet he had enough money to marry another woman. I am crying in silence and feel completely heartbroken. Please advise me. My husband follows this page too.

#Anonymous