Another Mother

A so-so mother trying to live life and not damage the kids. Foul mouth. Tacos. Whiskey. Books. Introvert. Hopeless unromantic. #ImJustAnotherMother

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@TheInspiroBot is smarter than us all...

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

Kids decided to play chef at lunch.
Chef Gordon Ramsey and Chef Alex Guarnaschelli took over. Chef Ramsey was insulting Chef Guarnaschelli’s guac and being an asshole; I had to remind her that the real chef wouldn’t stand for that shit.
“Fuck you, Ramsey!”
I’m proud, right?

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

My friend’s kid wrote me a poem. I’ve lost my words.
#Bitch
#IsThisACompliment

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@EmbryEthan I’m so glad i watched live then! It was amazing, THANK YOU, TB Player!!!!

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@EmbryEthan And the bars. My hometown makes a HUGE deal out of St. Patrick’s Day... the warning and declarations from our public health department weren’t enough to keep half of the town from going out yesterday... And our hometown has confirmed and several more suspected cases.

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@jimmyfallon I’m making mine do interpretive dance battles in order to win control of the remote.

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

The saddest excuse for a #cheesygorditacrunch I ever did see 😂

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

I just love when I have to change a password, because the current one somehow isn’t working, and I get an error code indicating that I can’t use my old password as my new one.
#FuckingTechnology
#LetMeInBitch
#WorkProblems

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

My kid was being an asshole today so I flipped him off behind his back...
He caught me and the little asshole proceeded to return the favor.
I can’t even be mad since I’d lost the moral high ground at that point...
#IWishIHadntLaughedThough
#MomFail
#ImJustAnotherMother

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@27Bajajrashi @ManoloBlahnik I have one pair that I never wear 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

I’m pretty easy to please. I don’t ask for much.
SATC: Season 2 | EP 9 | 10:38

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@jacksoncropper @huev0s_rancher0 @RetweetDat @embaummy Perfection 💀

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

I’m over here laughing to infinity and beyond 🤭😂😭

[Emily Colder @embaummy]

So today at the gym I thought my trainer was flirting with me when he asked for my number/ to take a pic of me. Turns out he thought I resembled BUZZ LIGHTYEAR and sent me this.

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

Who wants to go to @RiotFest with me???

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

Farfalle and Away #pastaflicks

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@KeatonPatti Shit... didn’t realize I’ve been playing wheel of fortune and was a permanent residence in debt island.

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@jimmyfallon One of my bridesmaids demanded to wear a different dress than everyone else & altered hers into a halter style. The dress broke & she ended up flashing everyone. The wedding video was edited but it still shows her running away: hands over boobs & crying.
#weddingfail

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@MissionTacoSTL

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@MissFlyByNight Seems appropriate

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

Me: Look! That car has my initials!
5yo daughter: I don’t see b u t t
#Savage
#MomLife
#ParentFail
#ImJustAnotherMother

[Another Mother @AnotherMother2]

@EmbryEthan @RiotFest @gwar The amount of joy this tweet gave me is unfathomable...