rachaeL.

To be honest, I'm never really sure what's going on...

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Five bucks says Trump comes after Lake Ontario next.....

#TheGreatestLakesofAmerica

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Co-worker A: Oh no, what happened to your foot, did you roll your ankle??

Co-worker B: No, my guillotine fell on it!

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Managed to remove enough of my fingerprints at the climbing gym today that my phone has decided to lock me out.

On the plus side, I am now ready for a life of crime.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

My friend's mom (very sweetly) just told me that when she first met me I had "more face" than I do now.....

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Had a dream that I was going hot air ballooning but I filled out the forms wrong and had to go naked.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Today I spent 2 hours supervising a robot do a job that I could have done faster and more efficiently. And I didn't even get paid.
So touché little dude.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

I just got in the shower with my bra still on, 'cause... you know, I like to play with a full deck upstairs.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

My Brazilian boyfriend just referred to smudging as "smoke cleaning" ....

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Me: What's your retirement hobby gonna be?

Gabe: Building wood shit. Chairs, tables...... coffins.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

I've decided to skip the middle man & just store my produce in compost bags from now on...

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Today I learned that it's inappropriate to fart while we're eating.

#boyfriendproblems

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

The only plans I'm willing to commit to right now are nap dates. In fact, an accountability nap partner would be great for my well being.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

My barbie costume did not get any justice last night.

- Brittany

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Me: *sets shower temp to a relaxing warm*
Boyfriend: *steps in/yelps* "What are you trying to do!!?!?!! BOIL MY PENIS?!?!?"

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

"Chocolate to Die For" ice cream recalled due to potentially fatal undeclared peanuts.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Nobody: ...

Boyfriend: Hey Siri, do frogs have teeth?

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

*Overheard in Skeleton Park*

8 year old: " ....and then I accidentally hit her back. But it's okay, she wasn't bleeding or anything; just a little bit uncomfortable."

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

Me: Woah. I just hiccupped so hard it pulled out a burp.

Love interest: Well.... that's sexy.

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

"Bought a weighted blanket and had the best sleep of my life last night....

I woke up to Jeff checking for my pulse."
- Jen

[rachaeL. @AntFinley]

I need more interspecies oxytocin-mediated positive loops in my life.