¿Anthony Douchesamito?

ok yes uh huh i know um no

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

Ambulances are like the drag queens of the road: ‘Cause you can hear them coming down the street, everybody gets out of their way and there’s usually somebody dead inside.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

Current photographs of me.

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

Single Mom shirt available now ❤️

[Kristine Levine @kristinelevine]

Well who knew democracy was just based on the honor system?

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

I bought a handheld sewing machine from Temu so I can sew back all the clothes I bought from them.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

There’s a Waymo inside all of us.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

You’re fine, at least you’re not one of those people that need a picture of everyone on their contact list.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

I worked a catering job where Katy Perry performed so technically I’ve worked with Katy Perry.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

I’m been unusually stressed out about the love lives of my homeless gay friends.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

Roommate: I’m going to the gym in ten minutes.

Me: Okay, I’ll switch my Grindr to hosting.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

I like my men like I like my Almond Joys, with a nut in them.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

Mi ama don’t know daddy’s getting hot
At the taco shop
Eating a bunch of frijoles

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

I hate popcorn ceiling. Not because it’s ugly but because it makes me hungry for popcorn.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

This older man I met told me that he sees himself in me and I was like oh that’s because you’re fucking me.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

How about a favorite 2022 movies and tv shows list for people who are poor and only have Netflix and Hulu? Which they steal.

[Guy Branum @guybranum]

I have been more on edge about fahtness/people saying something/inability to see my humanity/fear that my life is of less value than others since seeing "The Whale" and want you guys to know it!

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

I heard the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle fuck on the reg AND on the rag.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

They hate us ‘cause they anus.

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

@MadScientistFF Peggy Hill

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

@HooperHairPuff Hooray!

[¿Anthony Douchesamito? @AnthonyDesamito]

One time, on the road, I went to a guy’s house I met on Grindr and just took a dump in his bathroom and left.