Kirk Lazarus

I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.

[Jesus Chrysler @JesusChryslerII]

Mitch McConnell's condition appears to be beyond hope.
But Dr. Donald Trump refuses to accept the diagnosis.
As the hospital staff watches in disbelief, he conducts his own examination, reaches a very different conclusion, and orders a treatment plan that only he could prescribe.

[Maggie Reed @mermaidmamamags]

Trump is nesting on our dime.

[Andrew—#IAmTheResistance @AmoneyResists]

This woman is reciting Trump’s words exactly as he said them during the NATO summit.

We have become so inured to Trump’s incoherence that is sanewashed by the media 24/7 that we fail to recognize just how much he’s declined.

Reading a transcript of his words makes it SO CLEAR.

[Mike Bones @mrmikebones]

Formed in 1989, Dread Zeppelin was an American rock band that famously performed Led Zeppelin songs reimagined in a reggae style, fronted by a Las Vegas-era Elvis Presley impersonator named Tortelvis.

[Esta @TheOnlyEsta]

This NEVER gets old‼️🤣

He would H@TE to see the RETWEETED‼️

[Kirk Lazarus @AnthonyRMelvin]

@thejackhopkins I C U.

[SaltyGoat @SaltyGoat17]

"If you follow ICE, unfollow me. Don't come to my shows. Don't watch my movies."

- John Leguizamo

Your terms are acceptable...

[Kirk Lazarus @AnthonyRMelvin]

@DesireeAmerica4 That guy is gonna need a custom vehicle.

[Desiree @DesireeAmerica4]

Shaq caught wind of this 7-foot-3 kid in Kemah, Texas who powered through the police academy only to fall one point short on the state exam. His whole dream of becoming an officer looked like it was slipping away right there.

Then Shaq jumped in and covered the guy’s living expenses for the next five months so he wouldn’t have to juggle a second job and could zero in on passing that test. Because of that extra push, Jordan Wilmore got back in, nailed it, and just got sworn in as a Kemah police officer.

[Washington Commanders @Commanders]

Riggo's resume

[Kirk Lazarus @AnthonyRMelvin]

@NotHoodlum

[Kirk Lazarus @AnthonyRMelvin]

@NotHoodlum 🤮

[Acyn @Acyn]

Mamdani responds to heckler: That’s the city I want—a city where you can heckle your public officials because the bus is running on time.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Pete Hegseth has Nazi Tattoos and raped someone, and no one is talking about that. Crazy times we live in.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

He has Nazi tattoos and sexually assaulted some women but you can't tell if I'm talking about Graham Platner or Pete Hegseth

[Kirk Lazarus @AnthonyRMelvin]

@SecDuffy @fly_DJT 🖕🏾

[Kirk Lazarus @AnthonyRMelvin]

@EricTrump CuntforceOne.

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

A lot of people think Matt Foley was Chris Farley's greatest SNL character but forgot about Bennet Brauer 😂 wait til the end

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Only Donald Trump could fuck up fireworks.
https://t.co/Do0RlkxpeA

[Kira Volkov @KiraVolkov99]

No one survives a Between Two Ferns interview. 💀🤣