Mariah Jordan

I don't tweet much but when I do I make sure it's not about dos equis.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

I love when you can feel the alcohol burn your nose just from taking a drink.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Tequila is so tasty! #mylove

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

I really hate that I wasted my whole weekend being sober.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Dad: what are you doing with yourself these days?
Me: trying to get some emotional healing
Me: *makes fort with five year old*

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

I am officially nauseated at the amount of victimizing of Trump going by the inauguration commentators. #trumpisnotavictim

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

@aliciakeys HERE is stunning. I'm absolutely in awe of how you continuously share your heart with us through your music. You're a treasure.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Oh my lord there's a greenroom here. 😍 @ The World Famous Comedy Store https://t.co/BKDW1DzpGc

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Rolled out my yoga mat promptly to eat a bowl of cereal and a hot pocket on top of it while watching friends. #feelingproductive.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

CALL FOR EXTRAS! I'm making a film and need extras Tuesday night Oct 4th. Message me if you're interested! #pleasebeinterested

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Of all the female stigmas out there, the one currently pissing me off is that if a girl is alone somewhere it's assumed she doesn't wanna be

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

So this happened today. #filming #thetroublewithfriendsmovie… https://t.co/4YgMSRmssm

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

It's always unnerving when your three year old boy walks up and just says "sorry Auntie M" #shit #whatdidyoudonow?

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Bakersfield, why do you smell like feet?

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Swimming and drinking go together like peanut butter and jelly. If the peanut butter was water and the jelly was alcohol.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Country music station in a Baja Fresh.....not opposed but definitely adjusting the feel.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Sacrifice is listening to chipmunk covers of pop songs because the 3 and 5 year in your car run your life.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Nothing says "parent in training" like taking your two kids under six to Bevmo to buy whiskey and smokes.

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

First stop of the trip! So excited to be following these talented… https://t.co/0lcytzGMZi

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

"But what is love to a flower?" #shitmykidsays

[Mariah Jordan @Antym92]

Too classy for this beezy #ilovebeinganaunt #youdontevenknow @ BJ's… https://t.co/O6lREuOlmU