Fred

Lone Wanderer. Astronaut. Upstanding citizen of Rapture. Canadian. I stay shitposting.

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

I'm going to cuddle with @slimekiss one day if I don't die first.

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

My mom thinks I'm a gambling addict because I play Poker Night at the inventory

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Just hit myself in the eye with a bag of doritos

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Yoga should cut my head off

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Lots of people should have their heads chopped off

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Yesterday a rabbit stopped 5feet away from me and was looking at me until a cat scared it away

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Currently trying to befriend a goose by giving it lettuce

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

@KEEMSTAR you ever been bowling with Koreans? They're fucking impressive

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Might do bowling and Denny's again tonight it was a good time last night even though the Koreans destroyed me in bowling

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Drinking large amounts of alcohol and taking way too much clonazepam and quetiapine let's see what happens

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Might go look for someone to drink and cuddle with at the bowling alley tonight

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

One time I ate orange peels covered in toothpaste because someone dared me to

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

@mauriokart you do, moms are just bitter

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Just drank the hottest water in existence my tongue is going to fall off

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Every fuse in the fucking hotel room just blew lmao

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

After eight years of owning phones/ipod touch u finally cracked my first screen. Fuck.

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

This program contains shit. Viewer excretion is advised.

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

I went bowling today with a bunch of Koreans and they kicked my ass

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

Actually I went to the bowling alley alone and the Koreans were the only ones who let me join in

[Fred @Apokalyptonaut]

May the fourth be with you