Neil lore: last night I decided to walk two miles home, tipsy, phone completely dead, zero idea how to actually get home via public transit let alone walking. Picked a direction and just Went. And somehow ended up on the exact path I needed to to get to my apartment
Dracula: Good eveninggg.
Me: Oh
Dracula: It's me. It's Count Dracula.
Me: No, no I know. There's just a lot going on, I really don't need this right now.
Two different parents asked me this week if “that is your real last name” like, yeah?! Did you think I chose an obscure German last name that no one else in America has for fun?? Why would I do that?