"Jackie" Appleseed

I'm a librarian with @BadLibrary and also work remotely as a literary agent with a Russian literary agency. Apple lover. Dick hater. Pronouns: He, Him, His 🍎

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Take a bite out of this.

[#1 Gorbachev Fan @ReaganBratts]

There are not too many Soviet fans, but we exist.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Just a bad observation, but lately I've signed new clients (and recently did not sell any of their books!) who had queried me before about things that weren't right for me. I told them to nudge me again, and stupidly they did.

When agents and editors say this, we mean it. 🍏

[Carly Watters || Literary Agent (she/her) @carlywatters]

“We are not going to hear from poor people. They’re too busy hustling multiple jobs, they’re tired, they don’t have the resources to buy the mental space to write. This means that the stories we do hear will be told by certain specific voices: those who can afford to."

[Richard Tattoni @RichardTattoni]

Dude, I'm on a budget. I'm old and I'm hungry, and I want readers. One of the cool things about being an author is that you can promote like mad. Some of the eleven best bad ideas that I’ve had are what led me to my own good ideas. Hard work should be rewarded. #SoulCash

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

He made me wash his car again.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Writers/Readers — What are some of your favourite personal essays or short stories about really bad apples?

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Well, well, well. Look who came crawling back looking for help marketing his book. Guess who sent me a long and pathetic email. @RichardTattoni is on his own on this one. Down to the core.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Authors put too much on others. They complain the agent, the lawyers, editor, or publisher doesn’t make their dreams happen. Richard doesn’t know what he wants. If he doesn’t take the time to get clear on what he wants and explains it, no one can help him.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Just a rant of "telling" instead of "showing" from my conversation with the LGBTQ community of writers of Brewington. Last night @BadLibrary and it was super strange.

[Technossance Press @TechnossanceLit]

“After eleven months of successful partnership, we’ve agreed to go our separate ways,” @RichardTattoni and @AppleseedRocks announced in a statement Tuesday.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Dick Van Dyke's high-concept writings really irked me as a fussy literary agent and all-around bad apple.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

So exciting that @RichardTattoni was also on @WRICHRadio a few years ago. Why do you think he's gone?

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

I'm reading a book about apple pies.

[#1 Gorbachev Fan @ReaganBratts]

Red October went under a long time ago.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

There’s some slightly unreal news hitting soon for my one and only client, so… if anyone has tips for being productive while happily sobbing all day, let me know. Hard apple cider is important, I imagine. 🍎

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

I've got that "I'm stuck in an apple orchard" power.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Ciao!

[Jerry Read @JerryReadStoned]

Richard might be dead, but he's reading @BadLibrary today at 4 p.m. ET! Hope to see you there and please spread the word if you can! ❤️

DM me for the tickets if you don't want to register online.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

“Kill your darlings” is a common piece of advice taken by most experienced agents in the business.

["Jackie" Appleseed @AppleseedRocks]

Beloved client and friend, Richard Tattoni (1876-2022). ❤️