April Souza

I’m the girl you fill up on at Carrabba’s before the girl you date

[April Souza @April_Souza]

Verifying my Twitter account for my #GalxeID gid:v3cx4fNKmwQm67srDWKMG @Galxe

https://t.co/nTk9lcXEoR

[April Souza @April_Souza]

I wanna play Guitar Hero so bad right now

[April Souza @April_Souza]

I can never legally change my address because I love the Medway library and dump to much

[April Souza @April_Souza]

Why do kids hate wearing proper jackets so much

[April Souza @April_Souza]

@tyffani_cox @britneyspears Loser

[April Souza @April_Souza]

My boyfriend wouldn’t buy a 15 dollar movie because it had 5% on rotten tomatoes, ALMOST HEROS IS A GREAT FLICK

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

britney spears is by all means an imperfect individual, but if every time she posts something weird or objectionable on instagram you react with “maybe she does need to be re-enslaved,” i need you to reflect on how you think about mental illness

[April Souza @April_Souza]

This waiter just suggested my gramma get a mai tai A MAI TAI SIR?!

[April Souza @April_Souza]

According to my Facebook suggested posts I am a conservative that loves 50 Shades of Grey and Arnold Schwarzenegger

[April Souza @April_Souza]

@mytoecold You and gram both look stunning AS USUAL

[April Souza @April_Souza]

I hate when my doctor send me a letter like "all test are normal" like say "so great, very healthy"

[April Souza @April_Souza]

I went to Longhorn for the first time in like ten years and with a heavy heart I must report they no longer carry prairie dust…

[April Souza @April_Souza]

First time back at church and I’m already being percequted

[April Souza @April_Souza]

The dream is to own the West Elm air hockey table

[April Souza @April_Souza]

Watching my fav Dunkin employee bitch out a customer

[April Souza @April_Souza]

If you’re not getting your alterations done in a strangers living room you’re probably not getting a good deal

[April Souza @April_Souza]

Sometimes I’m like “ how did I use to sleep with hair extensions in” then I’m like “oh yea drugs and alcohol”

[April Souza @April_Souza]

Amazon needs to calm down with these wedding cards