Archibald Coolranch

President of Coolranch Capital Partners. Heir of the Coolranch fortune. Conservative. Love's God.

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#red (#communist color) #foodstuffs that are not #paired with #white and #blue foodstuffs are #banned from the #Community #AMERICA250 #Cookout,, this includes condiments,!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

🇱🇷HAPPY #BIRTHDAY #AMERICA🇲🇾

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

This #matter, and #many others will be discussed at this week's #meeting, where we will #also #vote to #replace the #pool #pumps and #identify a new pool #maintenence company (#Previous company FIRED for damaging #flowers two #weeks ago,,!!)

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#Terrorists, #likely from the #ShadyPines HOA, have #broken into our beautiful #clubhouse #pool and filled it with #algae slowly throughout the last #week,, I have #deployed #Herb to conduct #nightly #patrols until the #perpetrators are #identified,!!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

Very #GLAD to see more #cases of #teleportation being #documented,,, #perhaps ex-wife #Sue will now #believe that I was #teleported (#unwillingly!) into that #stripclub in #1992,!!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

THE #SAVE THE #HOA ACT!

1. ALL #VOTERS MUST SHOW #VOTER #I.D. (#IDENTIFICATION!)

2. ALL #VOTERS MUST #SHOW #PROOF OF #RESIDENCE AND #COMPLIANT HOUSE #PAINT COLOR!

3. NO #MAIL-IN #BALLOTS (EXCEPT FOR #ILLNESS, DISABILITY, #TRAVEL, #PRISON SENTENCES (#WHITE-COLLAR #CRIMES ONLY!)

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#LOCKHERUP

[chris evans @notcapnamerica]

There’s a multipart series unfolding on TikTok of a group of seniors upset their friend Barbara has been cheating at Mah Jong. I’ve been riveted

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

Jeffrey #Epstein #cheated during our #golf game in #1983 and was #caught,, too #Embarrassed to ever #utter the #Coolranch name again,,!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#Very good #Idea sir,,, I #hope Mr. #President Trump will #humbly accept my 1976 "#Salesman of the #Quarter" #Regional #Sales award from #USSteel,!!

[Rep. Jack Kimble @RepJackKimble]

President Trump, please accept my Pizza Hut Book It Award. It's pretty old, but I believe you can still redeem it for a free personal pan pizza. It is my honor to give it to you.

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#PROUD to #report that Mr. #President Trump has #responded to the #HOA requests to #establish #ICE #Outpost in #neighborhood,, this #storage bin has been #installed at the local #gasstation,,, #Neighborhood has #never been #SAFER! #MNBMGA #POTHOA #usa 🇱🇷🇱🇷

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#We will #no longer #tolerate the leaves #blowing across #OakTree Lane and into #our #yards,!! #President Rick #Nelson will be #Held in the #McClancy Detention Center (Herb’s #Poolhouse) until the #hearing can be #convened,!!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#Last #Evening, we #successfully conducted an #operation in the #ShadyPines #HOA to #capture their #POTHOA, so he may stand #trial for #violation of our #rules regarding #leaves blowing down the #street,,, We will #run #ShadyPines HOA in the #meantime,!!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

While it has been several days since I was last seen in public, I want to assure all residents of the HOA that I remain ALIVE, and I'm in no way incapacitated or unable to perform my duties as HOA President. My Grandson is definitely not writing this tweet!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

The #HOA will be #voting for,,and I will be #signing, our "#BIG #BEAUTIFUL #BOOKLET" of #approved exterior #paint colors (a very small booket!!) this coming #Tuesday,!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#We have #massive Financial #Deficits with the neighboring #HOA, and #many other HOAs.! The #only way this #problem can be #cured is with #TARIFFS,!! #Nosy Nancy's many #trips to "Mary Kay" #parties will #soon incur #them, and many #others!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#Nosy #Nancy Paulson's #Christmas lights remain #up well #past January 1,,, #Christmas may be #Jesus' birthday,,, but the #HOA #Rules are #clear,!! We will be #fining greatly!!!.

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#Wondering if the "#DOGE" could "#plug in" to the #HOA accounting #system ("QuickBooks") to #find any #overlooked wasteful #spending,,,

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#we cannot #allow the #granddaughter of #Slimy #Stuart Martin's best friend to #continue to #profit off our #residents,!!

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#Just #signed an #ExecutiveOrder that #enacts 25% #tariffs on #GirlScouts selling #Cookies in the #neighborhood that aren't #related to #Residents! #POTHOA

[Archibald Coolranch @ArchieCoolranch]

#INAGURATION DAY #SCHEDULE:
6 PM: #Incoming #POTHOA Arrives at #Clubhouse
7 PM: #Swearing-in #Ceremony
7:05 PM: #Monthly #Meeting of the #HOA
8:00 PM: Light #refreshments #served (Marlene is bringing #cookies)