Ardboe Laureate Redux

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

@Elonupdate88 1912, when the Bankers sank Our Titanic!

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

The Real Worship (Sonnet I made a few nights ago)

Relief, from Lion's Mane,
when dealing with life; on PIP!
Welcome to where 'The Sunday Game'
is the Real Worship!

Everyone hates those with money,
but they still wanna wallow in it!
Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny
are the Real Worship!

The Hindustan Times
report, on Portadown,
to review the Catholic Jip!
But when the Pompey Chimes
are heard, in London Town,
out comes the Real Worship!

#sonnet #poetry #makelovenotclasswar #sciencetology #northernireland #garvaghyroad

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

I see wars, horrible wars, and the Tiber foaming with much blood. https://t.co/ofEVan8Dke

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

@honeymoon250 Dubya was still the worst; in spite of Obama, and Biden, making this list.

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

Women, Eh! (Sonnet I just composed)

They wanted to run the World,
manage the Budget,
become Chairman of the Board,
play Sport,
Travel the World,
seek TV appearances,
negotiate a doubling of pay,
write The Great American Novel,
be at one with the World,
experience different Cultures,
win the Nobel Peace Prize
and an Oscar!
Yet, now say, they wanted to be barefoot and pregnant; all along!
Women, Eh!

#poetry #sonnet #makelovenotclasswar #sciencetology

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

Somewhere both Left and Right (New Poem)

Life spent, long, on the dole,
then left the UK!
The Cracker in True Soul,
the blue-eyed Marvin Gaye!

Trying to be famous
and make girls go berserk!
But my life became like Shameless
when the drugs would no longer work!

Caught in political crossfire
whenever online!
Defamed by a cyber liar
when I said that I’m fine!

The contract said, “Goodnight!”
You have to stash your money!
Somewhere both Left and Right
the State is your Mummy!

The Office is the new kitchen,
women think you’re thieving!
They always wanted to fit in,
as they said in the meeting!

Ideologically driven now,
her Mother’s name was Mallory!
She ends up going to the cash cow
to negotiate a doubled salary!

The money supply will eventually end,
but it’s all about the job!
She decides which way to bend!
Corn-on-the-cob!

She has you full of stage-freight
then says she was abused!
Somewhere both Left and Right!
The Main Headline News!

Borrowed a classic
from an American online Library!
Suddenly, it’s now Fascist!
So says the BBC!

Peelers at my front door,
locals being nosey!
Predicting 2034
it’s hardly rosy!

Needed legal help
to clear my blackened name!
Lawyer from the Bible Belt
setting a precedent again!

Fisher, and German Bight
sails with the Thought Police!
Somewhere both Left and Right
declaring war, through peace!

#poetry #makelovenotclasswar #sciencetology

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

Bait (Attempted Song Lyrics)

Asimov
Had a Wife!
Said she ‘Worked her Ass Off’
her whole life!

Literature banned
on Amazon!
It was all planned
to sell Child Porn!

It’s all using the Internet as Bait!

Everything about Race
everything about Religion!
For the Public Face
of Dystopian Fiction!

The Circle is round
for every nation!
Sold, by the Pound
and De-Dollarization!

It’s all using the Internet as Bait!

#makelovenotclasswar #songlyrics #sciencetology

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

International Women's Day! (Poem written either 2021 or 2022)

“Worked and saved my whole life,
so I did!”, is what she’d say
The trials and tribulations of having a Wife
on International Women’s Day!

Marriages can be made in Hell
when you sneak a peak at Woman’s Way
while she’s lifting a Kettle Bell
on International Women’s Day!

Gran demanded that I should marry a Teacher or Nurse
but I sincerely doubt that they would stay
Social Status is a Rich Man’s Curse
on International Women’s Day!

Can’t afford to visit Dun Laoghaire
to see a Foreign Movie, or Play
Wetherspoon’s turns us all Lairy
even on International Women’s Day!

Left, or right? They’re all loose cannons
reliant on Amazon or eBay
They say ‘fight for every penny’ of Mammon
on International Women’s,
let’s all honour Coldplay,
International Women’s Day!

#makelovenotclasswar #sciencetology #poetry #internationalwomensday

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

Thank You, Mr. Banker! (Poem I just did)

Alcoholics, Sober with Glee!
On the Telly, when time for Tea!
The Cult of Positivity!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

Always on the Bars and Chippys!
Cheesy Theme Tune Ditty!
When the Nation Aint too Pretty!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!
In the Land of ‘Do as Your Told’!
When others have an Aldi Ready-Made Meal
I’m Hedging with Silver, and Gold!

From the UK’s largest Lake!
And where the news is always Fake!
I always give, while others Take!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

Cars cost so much money!
AndI never learned Poker, or Gin Rummy!
The Spides fuck-off to somewhere Sunny!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!
I’m not from the Old Kent Road!
Listening to an Online Navy SEAL
while my car has more damage than Mr Toad’s!

Women always hoard the Green!
While Men have to be in the Scene,
then caught up by a Ponzi-Scheme!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

Farmers now Beyond the Pale!
China has the Century’s Sale!
Anarchy in Emmerdale!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!
Your steak is from a Laboratory!
You will be served the finest Veal!
Others get what Mummy did Freeze!

Valentine’s Date, from the Heath!
A Saturday Night, with finest Teeth!
The day before’s Friday the Thirteenth!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

A Nation in Original Sin!
All hopes placed in the Recycling Bin!
Cause, in the end, City always win!
Thank You, Mr. Banker, but No Deal!

#poetry #makelovenotclasswar #sciencetology

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

Nervous System (Poem I did last month - loosely based on 'Killing for Love' by Jose Gonzalez)

Society at a loss
the loss of our religion!
And it’s all because
of someone’s Broken Nervous System!

He can’t enter a relationship
and she is constantly a waif!
All because the Mother-ship
is demanding to be Safe!

Racing Men race amok
defying the Peelers, with pride!
But the son can’t learn to be a Jock!
He’s told, “It’s too dangerous outside!”

Boys can no longer be greasy
and can no longer play with balls!
Mum insists on Internet and TV,
because she’s proud of those four walls!

The fall of our Ancient Rome
and the enforcement of decision!
Because ‘There’s no place like Home!’
Due to the Nervous System!

#poetry #makelovenotclasswar #sciencetology

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

The Lockdown Blues (Poem from 2020)

To the Middle Class,
They say, "Kiss my Ass!"
Note the use of 'Ass' rather than 'Arse'
Their National Anthem's 'Chasing Cars'
Buying Toblerone rather than Mars!

They criminalise
The Nine-to-Five
The best darn kleptomania alive!

Tim Horton's doesn't want cash
For those who sing 'Grace' or 'The Sash!'
The Banana Commonwealth
Say they care about your health
Shutting down the doors by stealth!

They criminalise
The Nine-to-Five
While we go on about a Neymar dive!

They urbanise Postman Pat
Republican and Democrat!
TV determines our views
On whatever's classified as news
The falses and the trues!

They criminalise
The Nine-to-Five
No more turkey or mince pies!

Europe is an awful failure
The Lord despises their behaviour!
The argument over left and right
Leaves nothing left worth the fight
Fisher has been robbed by German Bight!

They criminalise
The Nine-to-Five
But we'd rather mosh or jive!

#makelovenotclasswar #sciencetology #poetry

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

In Jesus' Name (Song/Poem recently created, by myself)

This world could be the ending
we could be sucked into the Sim!
Now the tribes are descending
to bring forth the Man of Sin!

Left obsessed with Russia!
Right obsessed with China!
Old cars in the crusher
new ones driven by a Data Miner!

The Cross is upside down
and sponsors College Football!
While the operating Clown
plans a public Footfall!

Everyone’s now gone insane
over the true religion!
All because a Jane
went on about her nervous system!

The wheat and the darnel
have emerged all at one!
The World’s real PT Barnum
is having too much fun!

The Far East is Whorish
and sent over to Dingle!
The girls are so moreish
like you can’t just have one Pringle!

I am just a sinner
in the House of Pain!
Have the Enemy for dinner
in Jesus’ Name!

#poetry #makelovenotclasswar #Christian

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

Nervous System (Poem I did a few nights ago)

Society at a loss
the loss of our religion!
And it’s all because
of someone’s Broken Nervous System!
He can’t enter a relationship
and she is constantly a waif!
All because the Mother-ship
is demanding to be Safe!
Racing Men race amok
defying the Peelers, with pride!
But the son can’t learn to be a Jock!
He’s told, “It’s too dangerous outside!”
Boys can no longer be greasy
and can no longer play with balls!
Mum insists on Internet and TV,
because she’s proud of those four walls!
The fall of our Ancient Rome
and the enforcement of decision!
Because ‘There’s no place like Home!’
Due to the Nervous System!
#poetry #MakeLoveNotClassWar

[Ardboe Laureate Redux @ArdboeRedux]

Tax (Poem written circa early 2022)

The policy of Lenin
to stuff cash into Cheddar Gorge
‘No possessions!’ said Lennon
one for him, nineteen for George!

The sale of the Twenty-First Century
is paid for with fries and Big Macs
ending up in penitentiary
because one didn’t want the tax!

America is now left
Australia is next in line
politics created theft
in the clear and present time!

The wine goes well with Stilton
but may lead to heart attacks
the legacy of Clinton
has created so much tax!

A high class salary
but still shopping at Home Bargains
the best things in life are free
unless your brother’s name is Tarquin!

The never-ending talk about class
has us dancing to Soul from Styx
all things come to pass
wherever there is death and tax!

Mark Knophler’s Private Dancer
has the generation bored
praying to recover from cancer
with or without the Lord!

Dependency on Aspartame
because of Pepsi Max
junk food now has a name
it’s called the sugar tax!

Money makes the world go round
but seldom satisfies
selling Britain by the Pound
no more full English fries!

Wants and Needs
pressures and slacks
sewing all the seeds
of a society run by tax!

The moral of this story
is to be one in a million
whether Labour or Tory
they’ll add an extra trillion!

Hungry for a solution
they can email or fax
there’s a new constitution
trying to move away from tax!

#poetry #makelovenotclasswar #taxationistheft