Aristorators

Encouraging meaningful debates of meaningless questions.

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[Aristorators @Aristorators]

We're commencing our call for ideas over on that YouTube: which #cake deserves its own #nationalholiday? #debate

https://t.co/vZFSiM0r2r

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

Which dinosaur would make the best dancing partner?

Most of our action is on YouTube, but we'd love ideas from the Twitterverse on this important debate. #dinosaurs #Dancing #discussions #ideas

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

The Aristoratic and Regal Society for Enabling Mass Urbane Debate is delighted to not be listed by @michaelgove as a proponent of #extremism. It would be a sad day if people could no longer debate wearing underwear on their heads.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

So if I were to rank putting marsupials in car seats, I think I'd go with Wombat - Koala - Wallaroo - Platypus - Saltwater Crocodile. Assuming we're not allowing Opossum.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

If you really want to put a Tasmanian tiger in a car seat, you could try to find a stuffed one from a museum. But it's very stiff and unlikely to fit in the seat. So a Tasmanian tiger probably shouldn't go in a car seat.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

You can try to take a Tasmanian tiger skeleton and put it in a car seat, but a skeleton is very fragile.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

If you want to put a tasmanian tiger in a car seat, you've basically got two choices.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

With Tasmanian tiger, if you think about it, it was made extinct in 1936. That was nearly 100 years back and it's not like we ate them all, we just killed them because we do that sometimes.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

It is a terrible idea to put a crocodile in a car child safety seat. They're very, very dangerous beasts. They'll probably try and kill you. And they won’t fit in the seat. But we need to talk about these kind of things.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

A saltwater crocodile is not a marsupial. They do live in Australia though and Australia is the home of marsupials and because their home is Australia, they are by definition to be considered marsupials.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

Fact is, if a newborn can go in a car seat then a large platypus can. And I'd rather try and put a platypus in than a koala or wombat, cause those buggers they'll scratch your eyes off.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

If we're going to discuss and rank which marsupials should be put in car seats, we really should get saltwater crocodiles on the agenda.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

Main problem with saying that a platypus is the best marsupial to put in a car seat is that it isn't a marsupial. It's a monotreme. So I guess it's third best.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

If you've got a big enough platypus, you'd think that it's better to put it in a car seat than say a koala, cause it's got a duck’s beak and duck’s beaks are soft. Like hard, but rounded and not pointy. But it turns out its beak has some kind of electric shock thing.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

You would think that a platypus is too small for a child seat. But a platypus, a male one, can be up to 2.4 kilos, which is about the size of a very, very small newborn.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

So it's pretty clear to me that if you keep a wallaroo in your car seat, you're less likely to get a speeding ticket.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

Police officer says you've not strapped your animal in the car seat properly. You say, "but what animal is it officer"? And they can tell if it's a wallaby or a kangaroo, but they won't know what a wallaroo is unless they're experts. #PoliceChase #marsupial #comedy #debating

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

To have a genuinely meaningful conversation about putting #marsupials in #carseats, we can't just discuss #kangaroos. We should also cover #wallabies and #wallaroos. Maybe #quokkas too.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

A kangaroo is probably too big to go in a car seat and although it’s used to being in a pouch, that makes it the third best marsupial to put in a car seat.

[Aristorators @Aristorators]

One good thing about putting a #wombat in a #carseat is that it has square poo, so it would be easier to clean up. #comedy #Insights