Armchair Chancellor

Welcome to class. Highly regarded. Definitly not retarded.

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

Normalize bringing your own putter to mini golf.

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

Name a better feeling than the tag from a brand new pair of lulu shorts sneaking into your butt crack while doing deep barbell squats… IYKYK

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

Bitcoin in the 21st century 🤝🏻 Tulips in the 17th century

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

TJ Watt will get hurt this season. I don’t want it. Goodell does not want it. Probably Aaron Rodger’s fault. Thinking left leg, probably hamstring. $300 mil gotta buy a nice ass couch tho.

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

The time- 6:29 a.m. CT
# of shits- 3

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

There is direct correlation between the increase in the size of the U.S. Federal Government and the increase in the average weight of women. Still unclear if there is evidence of causation.

*applies to black women too (and all Canadians)

Source(s): “The Bible”

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

@hungryd0gs @JonTeegs Get educated Jimmy.

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

If the engineer that designed Lizzo’s high heels had built the World Trade Center, it would have taken 69 airplanes to take down those towers, conservatively.

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

Trippin dicks and ain’t even high… dick’s just long

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

If you didn’t ride the WI Men’s bball spread at +6.5 you live in Gaza or are highly *regarded*

[Armchair Chancellor @ArmChancellor]

Imagine every time the national anthem of a foreign country is being performed in the U.S., the performer is highly *regarded*.