PUR Advocate

I’m very famous, so this part is from the lawyers: Arthur Tweedie is a fictional character, portrayed by a PUR paid spokesperson.

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Dave just introduced me to a little game called Truth or Dare. That being said, I dare you to try #PUR’s faucet mount! (Did I do it right?)

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Dave just drank out of a public water fountain! He claims he’s fine but I’m taking his temperature every hour...for science. #WaterCritic

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

I once interrupted a concert because the hydraulophone player was not using PUR filtered water and she needed to know that meant #NOSTARS.

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

The secret to a superlative mustache? A fine tooth comb and a couple drops of #PUR filtered water. #FULLSTARS

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

I bathe in PUR filtered water, I brush my teeth with PUR filtered water, and I wash my ascots in PUR filtered water. #soclean

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

What do we say to naked faucets? STOP TAKING MY LINE, DAVE! https://t.co/gyvLOANBJW

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

A bouncy house? No thank you! But a bouncy PUR filtered water house... Yes! Brilliant! DAVE! Write that down in my idea book! #WaterCritic

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

My fans are so kind to respect personal space but don’t let that keep you from sending me fan mail to tell me how great I am! #WaterCritic

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Dave managed to embarrass me on TV. To think, he calls that “dancing.” https://t.co/gw5tUrDaBR

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Dave has gone too far. He forgot to buy more #PUR replacement filters for the office and now we only have 13! #NOSTARS

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Are we tasteless savages? NO! https://t.co/OjpuypT907

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

As head of the neighborhood watch I’ve taken it upon myself to install PUR faucet mounts in every home with an unlocked door. #YouAreWelcome

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

I’m not arguing that the Golden Gate Bridge isn’t magnificent, it’s just all that unfiltered water below it that disappoints me #WaterCritic

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

You know who will survive an apocalypse? People who were smart enough to stock up on PUR filters. #prepared

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Last night I dreamt that I was floating in a public pool, so obviously I’ll be calling in sick today to recover from such a traumatic event.

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Cayenne pepper? Lemon juice? No, no, no! Drinking #PUR filtered water is the only cleanse I approve of. NO PUR FILTER, NO STARS!

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Dave washed my dishes in tap water. TAP WATER! Perhaps he thinks my PUR faucet mount is for decoration? #thehorror

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Hide from a paparazzi? No, Arthur Tweedie welcomes them in hopes to spread the good word of #PUR filtered water to everyone!

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

How do I start my mornings? In bed with a bowl of toasted oats made with #PUR filtered water, of course!

[PUR Advocate @ArthurTweedie]

Talk about a hostile work environment. My boss just made punch for the whole office and used 100% unfiltered water. #NOSTARS