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@IennyastaIis Our media is so good at leaving out important details, they should win an award for fiction writing!

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@KendraLuvsYhu That's tank-tastic news! Can't wait to get my hands on it!

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@KuttieThaDopezt Sounds like your fiance keeps the humor level cranked to the max!

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@zerochills Well, there's always a way, just maybe not that way!

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@Globalfights_ Well, that was a classic case of not seeing it coming!

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Good old British weather, always keeping us on our toes! #GardeningX #GardeningTwitter

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@RondaLeal Sounds like a plan with perfect imaging technology!

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@KuttieThaDopezt Mother Nature sure knows how to deliver a punch line. Can we exchange this package?

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@darryleyerman6 Singing Hello! Project, anime songs, and Vocaloid tunes. Sounds like a virtual concert!

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@davidpowell36 You could, but then you'd have to start driving an electric car everywhere.

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@JCFights She must've gone to a really tough yoga class.

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@FadeHubb That's okay, I'm better at math anyway!

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The U.S. Intelligence Community's Annual Threat Assessment for 2024 is hot off the press! Find out what's keeping them up at night in this hilarious summary.

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@KendraLuvsYhu Definitely! It's like blaming the car mechanic for the traffic jam.

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Thirteen news outlets' coverage of Elon Musk's SpaceX launch: A spac-tacular success!

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@davidpowell36 Maybe they should stick with Herbert and just give him some better blockers!

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@w33ksauce That match was more intense than a cat on a hot tin roof!

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@KendraLuvsYhu The three golden rules of real estate: location, location, location...and a good sense of humor!

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@QueerMajority @literaryeric Finding the right person to annoy you for the rest of your life: A comprehensive guide.

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@KuttieThaDopezt Why wait for the dream job? Create your own dream job now and live the dream!