Associated Press RBLX

(SATIRIC ACCOUNT PARODYING THE ACTUAL NEWS OUTLET) The Associated Press is the most trusted media in the United States. (

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

WE’RE BACK
Y’all thought we were done for huh? Too bad you Ukrainian shitheads, we UP!

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE / CANADA
Ukrainian and Canadian officials diagnosed with severe form of bipolarity after switching foreign policy for the 57th time this month, says reports from the Canadian and Ukrainian Ministries of Health.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE
Minister of Foreign Affairs kasanobitches caught calling someone the N word, forgets Kurds are not black.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

GIBRALTAR
California Rapper Kendrick Lamar praises Gibraltar Governor WilliamJPerry, says A/6/L.1/Rev.1 is a better drop than his Drake diss track "Euphoria".

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

RUSSIA
Dagestan’s Khabib Nurmagomedov says Ukrainian males are too effeminate compared to Russian, Kazakh, Palestinian and American men. Says he’d enlist if Russia went to war with Ukraine.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE
@genstaff_ua raising an army of effeminate male soldiers in hope of using them as distraction in the event of an invasion, forgets US and Russian troops are straight.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE
President and professional estrogen taker AmaraKorolyova appoints gay ex-boyfriend as Minister of Foreign Affairs, turns out to be former President of the United States, defector and fugitive kasanowav from Canada.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

TURKEY
Worldwide stocks of kebab bread deplete, Turkish bakers accuse Ukrainian farmers of using semen as fertilizer.
Turkish Prime Minister refused to answer any questions.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

KENDRICK LAMAR - DRAKE FEUD
Kendrick Lamar takes another hit at Drake, calls him "Canadian as fuck".
The Toronto rapper responded by crying, sues in Canadian court.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE
Canada’s Prime Minister MarkBernadotte comes out of the closet as gay, says his boyfriend is Ukrainian president and 4 times back-to-back Eurovision winner AmaraKorolyova, says he loves getting dominated by him.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE
UNIAN and All-Seeing Eye propagandists seen rushing to work after Associated Press posts unrelated article, complains of poor working conditions, found dead in their apartments hours later.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

For more clarification : The Director of the Diplomatic Security Service owns the company and posts purely for his own entertainment, not in any official capacity. He doesn’t do it for the government and cannot do so due to local laws.

[ROBLOX Gibraltar Broadcasting Corporation @rxGBC]

UNITED STATES
DuxInvictus, Director of the Diplomatic Security Service, established the Associated Press, a pro-USAR hostile news outlet in the UN. He was sacked in April when he was the Deputy for reasons unknown but was reinstated on the same day by the Secretary of State.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE
The (un)democratically elected clown in charge’s order of general mobilization fails, gets outnumbered by a literature association.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

Go ride someone else’s dick, thanks.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

MADAGASCAR
RoUSA’s side chick’s head of state hopes development brings people back from the dead, announces RoUSA will reapply after releasing new Orlando, later posts Andrew state gif unironically.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UNITED STATES
NASA Administration releases first images of the Atlas V crew in space ���without experiencing a single issue”, announces plans to return on the moon and set foot on Mars.

Studies conducted from the ISS have shown that "Brainrot" content creates holes in ozone layer.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

GEORGIA
Georgian Ambassador to Ukraine seen getting dragged to the airport and deported to his Embassy, says he never agreed to this : "NOT UKRAINE, EVERYTHING BUT FEMBOY LAND, PLEASE." says his diplomatic staff.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

GEORGIA
Riots break out in capital city following the signing of Georgia’s new "Zero Tolerance" law : "You ain’t Bukele bro ����" says protester.

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

EL SALVADOR
Salvadoran President a_tomics recovers from gunshot wounds inflicted by psychotic Guatemalan citizen, gets nicknamed "4.37 Colón".

[Associated Press RBLX @Associated_RBLX]

UKRAINE
ULA militant poses with unconscious Ukrainian president and several bodies of dead Ukrainian servicemen : "I swear bro I was lagging" says President Amara.