Astrid Wooldridge

I’m a keyboard making, rum-drinking, gender fluid, foul-mouthed know-it-all who drives better than you

[Michael @michaelbivins44]

Oregon State Police are here too, and not sticking to guarding the freeway. #j20pdx #j20 #inauguration #Inaugurationday

[Michael @michaelbivins44]

Trump supporters show up. One of em says something about Benghazi. #j20pdx #Inauguration #inaugurationday #j20

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

Something about April and andy's romantic is just so pure. #parksandrecwhiledrunk

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

Why does tofu come in embryonic fluid? #vegetarian #sketcky

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

Cheapest Beer in Europe - One of the most important factors in traveling on a budget is food and drink. I... https://t.co/ftZdlaCleS

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

📷 Image credits: Both images are screenshots depicting the Rail Europe website. Credit goes to ©2016... https://t.co/2LrG3vHTXU

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

📷 These are some pictures of the AirBnB where we stayed in Aruba. It had a gorgeous pool, air... https://t.co/0cO6DWv1eD

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

Please make the headache go away. Please. Please please please

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

So now I'm fearing for my life because I told the lady at the counter. #yay

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

Def just saw a couple go into the ladies room to have sex. In the only stall with toilet paper

[Emily Heller @MrEmilyHeller]

Tried to buy a doormat and here's what arrived: a piece of foam with a photo of the thing I wanted printed on it.

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

.@universethrob also false! See self!

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

.@BarackObama I love the implied attitude. "Top this.Prez of the US and publishing papers in medical journals.You know, on the side."

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

.@BarackObama Way to do it Mr.Prez.
You're too lovely for this America. Thank you for your amazing service. Youse a bad mama #ObamaJAMA <3

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

@universethrob oh baby!!! You are much too sweet to me! :')

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

@itsmikebivins when I was little it was over a hundred, but now around 50 I think

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

.@itsmikebivins and yep! Interesting...!

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

Omg wow https://t.co/dnPGD1Ry1M

[Michael @michaelbivins44]

Fun fact: I'm blacklisted by the National Pigeon Association.

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

@itsmikebivins my dad owns pigeons!

[Astrid Wooldridge @Astrid_Wool]

.@itsmikebivins Yay accidents!!!