Keith Wise

been there, seen it, done it - and now go round again

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@AndoverAd Where is this story? It doesn’t feature within the AA app when I log in.

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@HannahIamthest1 Good to know that we are not alone- as I get older

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb!
🤣🤣🤣

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@edwinhayward Order solar panels

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@au_tom_otive “Comfortably” is not the way I would describe those achievements. Hard work and sacrifice (I’m 70+)

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@Beno10_MFC Shirt collar

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@elonmusknews30 A yes

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@elonmusknews30 👍

[Dr Julia Grace Patterson💙 @JujuliaGrace]

Eeeek I’m worried no one can see my posts - this is *very bad* because we’re currently fundraising to do extremely important research. If you can see this please help! Ju x

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@Matt_Pinner I still have one of these. Keep in my car with change for parking inside. Has a sticker made by my daughter 20+ years ago.

[Paul Lewis @paullewismoney]

Some restaurants introduce their own standing charge to bills https://t.co/KMFWTKrqlK as they seek to continue to snaffle the service charge which by law has to go to staff. If a charge is not optional VAT should be added to it so ask for VAT receipt and refuse optional charges.

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

https://t.co/txsOh9VFqI

[Kirstie Allsopp @KirstieMAllsopp]

If only

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@Keir_Starmer Which is precisely what the police are doing.

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@FastForward2029 @paullewismoney Free bus travel from age 67 in Hampshire.

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@Everyth1ngElec I’m looking forward to my third visit to this incredible event at Farnborough this weekend. Puts me in mind of an immersive “Tomorrow’s World”.

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@Everyth1ngElec I’m looking forward to my third visit to this incredible event at Farnborough this weekend. Puts me in mind of an immersive “Tomorrow’s World”.

[Saul Staniforth @SaulStaniforth]

Can you imagine if Russia attacked and seized a UK vessel in international waters & kidnapped the people on board, including UK citizens, and the only response from the UK govt was to say that's "a matter for the Russian govt".

No, me neither.

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@nadaa01012 .

[Keith Wise @Atreides55]

@MMydw60280 .