US Congress

[US Congress @Austintiii]

If she won’t even try to watch transformers — that’s ignorant
#transformher

[World's Oldest Ham @Worldsoldestham]

HAM GROUPIES!!! Eric Couture, Finn Smith & Caroline Branch, students at @VCU, made their own epic t-shirts for my birthday party on Saturday! I've never been so flattered or amused! #groupie #tshirts @VCLatVCU

[US Congress @Austintiii]

Is this a real event that I can attend, because I really really want to, or satire?

[World's Oldest Ham @Worldsoldestham]

Mark your calendars for my upcoming birthday party!
This year, there's karaoke so that you can sing to me.
#birthdayparty

[US Congress @Austintiii]

Current headspace:

[US Congress @Austintiii]

My favorite genre on TikTok are the @terrycrews drawings

[US Congress @Austintiii]

oh man I really have to dump

[US Congress @Austintiii]

Richmond is the home of competitive parking

[US Congress @Austintiii]

Do you think the popularity of the X-Men is a government ploy to get kids to accept the theory of evolution more easily?

[US Congress @Austintiii]

All humans are the same person occupying space and time in different ways. You cannot change my mind

[US Congress @Austintiii]

People look more attractive when you can understand the shape of their skull

[US Congress @Austintiii]

When will we learn that struggles are not comparative. They are individual. Thank you

[US Congress @Austintiii]

If it ends in -ine it IS going to make you poop

[US Congress @Austintiii]

The way that Christian people think that Secular people talk is outstanding

[US Congress @Austintiii]

Who is branding for the @usairforce ? I want to join because of that YouTube ad

[US Congress @Austintiii]

This is just so false

[Brigitte Gabriel @ACTBrigitte]

The American people only want President Trump! https://t.co/OYSWHdxED9

[US Congress @Austintiii]

Thank you and good day

[US Congress @Austintiii]

How much funnier would it be if they put the Xs on your forehead instead of on the backs of your hands.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

‘I Am A Serial Rapist,’ Announces Trump In Final Pitch Before Election https://t.co/pVnZZuF77B

[US Congress @Austintiii]

My favorite thing is when white people are uninvolved

[US Congress @Austintiii]

This the kind of weather that makes you feel like a steel drum