My son came out to me as gay at sixteen, and the first thing out of my mouth was, "Does your father know?" I've regretted that question every single day since, because it wasn't love he heard in it. It was fear.
Son: "Not yet. I wanted to tell you first."
Me: "Does your father know?"
Son: "That's the first thing you're asking me?"
I watched his face close up in real time, the courage it had taken him to say those words replaced instantly by something closer to regret.