Avi_journal

Daily trading journal. Rules, entries, exits, reflections.

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Okay so today is saturday and I have not logged in day 39, 40 and 41 as last 3-4 trading days have been the roughest ever. I have lost around 20+ eval accounts, lost PA 19 from which I have got my 1st payout, bought 2 Lucid accounts yesterday and lost them.

Also, I have completed 3 years in Trading, exactly 3 years back I discovered it and it instantly clicked, I was so excited about it, right before starting my job and now it is finally time that I conquer it. Because I had never given 3 years of my life to anything and I always got the signal that you should give 3 complete years, fuck the 1000 days bullshit that's all man made, 3 whole years is divine, its astronomy, its natural, and now finally the stars are all aligned and its my time. I have survived these years and from now the magic starts.

I have 4-5 very serious probelms in my life going on right now and the only solution is making money trading which can only be done when I am trading right which can only be done when I am aligned with the market which is nothing but emotions and projections of those emotions and logic of millions of participants and 1000s of alogorithms which are trained on past data which was again generated by humans.

So it is safe to assume price movement is nothing but a projection of opinions of all the participants which are in it, that's what makes the price action. Hence price movement has an intelligence of an average fucking men, and here I am with fucking 0.001% top tier mind which can read the unspoken, which can understand what someone actually meant at the deepest fucking level, I just get it, I am the most empathatic person I have ever met anyone till this date. I have a mind which is in the top 0.001% of the minds on Earth which exists IN THE AI ERA, not academically, not on the basis of general intelligence, not on the basis of an IQ test, in that domain I am in top 5% ile, 1 in 20, but the real intelligence on the criteria defined by Jensen huang in the recent interview, I am the only person I have met who has this kind of brain functioning which is insane and yes I am fucking meant for much more greater things in life than trading because this is fuckin unproductive as hell, its the shittiest industry. The hedge funds, the brokers, the props, the traders, the tool makers, everything is made up, its bunch of fuckers moving money. Not creating something by doing something productive, innovating something, solving real issues etc., this is not the way humanity moves forward and it bugs me but still this is the biggest industry on Earth and it will be tbh. And I am here because I did not understand this at that time and even if I would have, this is my way of buying my own freedom, buying my own time and then doing what I am actually born to do which are fucking great things and taking the humanity forward. Taking my country, my society ahead.

The path I have chosen is trading and I have losing at it consistently for 3 whole years because of just 3 reasons,

1. TIME -> Time is divine, it is something humans have no control over, some higher power, at higher dimension controls it and my time had not come. How do I know this, God told me and now it has, again God told me.

2. MY BRAIN -> I used my brain of 1 in 100k people in non-conventional intelligence to predict the price movement which literally moves of off brain power by 1 in every 2 people. How can I fuckin align myself to this market shit which literally has 100s of times lower non-conventional intelligence (which is what matters in market) than my brain and this is the biggest reason I have been losing.

3. DISCIPLINE -> God wants to teach me discipne and he knows if I get better at this skill of trading being undisciplines and made money I am never in my whole life going to get disciplined and if I am not I won't be able to achieve the greatest things I am born to do.

Now I will cater to each of these things,

1st is Time - I have no control, I just know my time has come as I got the signal from God. But actually how much time will it take me to make it here, again I don't know and hence I am not going to be bothered about it.

2nd is My Brain - For intellectual stimulation I am going to learn coding and build software applications, but not now, only after buying my time freedom with trading.
For now to make it in trading, I will play with the crowd just like them, I will participate in the move based on what price has just done (which gives me a signal), knowing that this move is shit illogical, I will still fucking play along with it, no matter how illogical it looks to my brain. I need to align myself with fucking stupids I can't listen to my 1 in 100k brain, it will always be opposite to average intelligence.

For example: Just like a stupid fuck who is trying to convince me why you should be realistic, I play along yeah you are right, I will maybe focus on my job and this and that but at the same time I know this guy is a fucking loser born to be avg. Similarly, when the market is moving irrationally and I get that signal, instead of waiting for price to behave rationally (which it will never, as this is crowd) I will start playing along with the move and will continue to play until I get the signal and I am fucking really really good at getting the signal, its just that I add my rationale and my logic on top of it which fuking ruins everything.

So simply the idea is, I will participate in the fake move, I will shut off my brain cells and just follow where price is going. Literally shut off my brain cells and be retarted like average market participant.

3rd is Discipline - This is what I have to do not because trading needs it, trading is bullshit. I will and must become disciplined because God has added a condition on me, that bro you have to do this because you are not just going to stop at trading. For the great things you are supposed to do in life you need to be disciplined so you be it and I will reward you with trading results and this is your commitment and my commitment.

Specific actions I need to take on a daily basis, I am not going to mention the details but I know it,

1. Morning wake up time and routine
2. Backtesting before 5 PM for 30 min to get in the zone of aligning my elite brain with stupid brains
3. Silence retreat of 20-30 min to remind myself this, and get in a zone of treating this day as entirely new and entirely different, no baggage of any kind at all. I have my ways of doing this - either meditation, imagining price action scenarios, yoga, anything just away from the usual stuff and figure out what suits me
4. Now the mental part, 10 mins before trading change the setup and environment
5. As market starts, enormous amount of patience, I react to just price, no logic, no deductions, no assumptions, no predictions, no conclusions, nothing, just react to price and trigger action on signals which I know how price delivers them - trust on it, trust nothing else (especially my brain's output hypothesis of the situation and price analysis) but price movement and its signals.
6. Rules - Max 2 losses a day. Max 3 trades a day, that's it

And this is how the magic happens. I will start the journal afresh without the baggage of anything I have done in the past, as the time had just not come till now and hence no matter how much effort I did, it didn't yield results.

Just last point - I am huge proponent and believer of this thing, that's everything is written, the path of your life is written, the destination of your life is written, but then the question comes what is your role, who are you if you have no control over anything if everything is already written. My theory is goal of the human is to move the humanity forward and do something productive for the community and God chooses people for that, say 1000 of them out of a million (I am 100% on of them). Now the journey is defined, the destination is defined, and God will come time to time to give signals and guide that person to be on that journey but to actually walk on it - to do action, to persist, to survive and keep on going is what the test it. If you do that congrats that is what heaven is, if you didn't, cool you are one of billions.

So the biggest thing is कर्म

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 12 - Followed rules

Took 2 trades, both losers. Here is the execution. Lost 5 apex evals, and on Lucid lost approx 600 dolars

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

@DelayVfx Yes I got it the next day and got the payout as well

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 17, 7th april - Tuesday

I have still not gotten email from plane asking my bank details for the payout. Will wait till tomorrow.

Coming to the trading part, I identified a mistake in my setup - I had EMAs on which were stopping me to trade like in backtesting, where I was waiting for confirmation and in live I was not doing it.

I purchased 4 evals today and traded it with the PA account I have with a multiplier of 3. 3 micros in PA and 9 in evals.

First off I did not trade like backtesting because of EMAs, 2nd thing the news at 7:30 which generally does nothing, did move the markets today and I was caught up. 3rd thing, today was a complete rangebound days and 4th thing, I did not follow rules because I was not that locked in,

because my mind was occupied with different stuff, trading was not the highest priority today but I am now completely clear and whatever good had to happen with me had happened and it is not going to happen again for sometime now. God had sent a message and a small gift for me to enjoy for a day so that I lock in for next few months and then finally prioritise different things in life other than trading, but until then get locked in again.

But I absolve myself of not following rules today, but from this instant there is no excuse. You learned and now you get locked in until you reach your objective.

Remember I will get many payouts in between, they should not deter me from following rules or make me softer, each day, every day until 50k -> 100k -> 200k. Then I can chill and make trading secondary.

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 11 - Followed rules

Although I followed rules but the system was not correct. I took few trades on apex accounts, then some different on lucid evals, then some different on lucid PA. The structure was completely missing and this is not sustainable.

I need to take the same trade on all the accounts, make it consistent every single time.

wrt rules, I followed in Lucid but in apex I took more than 3 trades, though they were just with small SL but still.

Apex accounts are in a very bad state, just 250 DD remaining. Lucid are in good state lets see what happens. I just need to follow rules and follow my system

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 10 - Did not follow rules

Took 8 trades. I was trying to long, my entry was wrong so got stopped out. When price formed a proper bowl and broke out at 7:55 I enterd long but price reversed and took SL

That was one signal price is going to go short. I entered at the right moment for short at 8:12 but I was trailing a little tightly so I got stopped out and price just flushed.

Then came 2 wrong trades, where I anticipated for longs without logic. Entered long at 9 got stopped out entered long again at 9:03, almost got stopped out but price reversed showed 700 profit (100+ points in my favour), but 2 massive candles came and took my stop.

I was done then, had 10-20 dollars remaining. Same for lucid 100 dollars remaining. To kill the accounts I entered long at 9:21, without any drawdown it went straight into profit and I got the gift from the God.

Here I booked 300 and in Lucid I booked 1170. I have 400 DD remaining here and 1240 in lucid. Will trade tomorrow now, following the rules

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 9 on only price based trading

I fucked up again today. Main reasons for that is,

On my backtesting session, I was testing on extremely extremely bad env of sept 2024, that got some bias in me today based on where the market was opening at. So I was kind of inclined towards not trading the 1st half, but the way price moved was insane.

So in the 2nd half I started looking out for longs, while doing so I knew I am doing wrong but I still did it, completely my mistake not at all justified.

I will make sure to not let anything not even backtesting influence me. Let the price fool me thats it nothing else.

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 8 of only price based trading

1st trade - Nas Long 7:24 to 7:25

Price formed a bowl and I entered but price reversed, one thing to note here was bowl was not broken yet, so my entry was not ideally triggered but this is also a point that I use some sort of judgement to enter or not becuase there will be cases when it will be broken just the comeback all the way so yeah this trade was not a bad trade, I took a call the logic that I have pre-decided and it did not work out so I took SL of 400 dollars fine.

2nd trade - Nas Long 8:10 to 8:36

As per the rule once I hit SL before 7:30, I don't take a trade till 8:10, so I did not even look at the market till 8:05, then I saw price forming a clean bowl. Infact it even manipulated to form a 2nd bowl and this was A+, I entered but price just manipulated again gave a massive retracement of 70 points. I was down huge but my SL was very big because as per price action I had to take SL below the last swing structure but I need to revisit that I can not take such big SL, it was almost 100 points. Maybe reduce qty or take smaller SLs. But it hit TP 1k in profit.

Yes overall a very good day, on to another disciplined day.

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Twitter tech and product is absolute shit. It was not allowing me to buy basic premium after 3 months of basic premium, I said fuck it I will buy the expensive one, it wants me to verify my contact number for which it asked me to send SMS to a UK number which my operator does not allow.

If you want to verify the contact use OTP man wth, are you just building for US, wtf. That's what happen when you fire PMs and Tech, you do the bare min. Fine from a business pov that might be good whatever, but yeah today I came again because I want to seriously journal and basic premium was available without verifying my contact number so yeah bought it.

Now I will journal again, but let me just summarise the last few days. From tangibles pov I am doing shit, I have lost 20-30 evals and few PAs and I am now down 30k in my trading journey, 11k+ in futures. And I have lost it because I was again cutting the corners, not following the rules and was still making it somehow but it will never end well, I can break rules and end few days in green until that one day when its DLL and that happened thrice - 27th, 28th may when I lost PAs and Lucid evals and then on Friday, I made money in short then started to callout lows and long, lost 5 tradeify which was maybe 600-700 away from passing, 5 Lucid bought and bust and 1 PA DLL and 1 topstep eval DLL.

Now reading all of this feels like I am nowhere, either mentally or methodically, and maybe I am, but the only thing I know is I will not give up on myself. I may have lost it 50 times till now but I will still bet on myself for 51st time, probabilistically it is stupid, if you can not follow your rules for the first 50 times, chances of me doing it this time are close to none because that event has not even occured yet but still man leave probability for trading, in life you have to take chances. Probability of being successful in trading is <1% I still betted on myself and continued doing so for the past 3 years so why fucking stop now, I have clarity, I know I can make it, I know I deserve this, I know I am the best person to have the money so why not bet on myself again, so hell yeah I am taking it.

And when after 1 year I come back to this post and put a comment in there saying I am glad I took a bet on myself for the 51st time or 55th time or 60th time, I will keep on betting on myself till the time I can. Lets fucking go.

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 7 - Did not do price based trading

I was not sane today, not entered with the right mindset and was also not trading as per price, broke rules too.

Took 3 trades all losers, trying to catch the low and all. Extremely bad day. Lost 834, had made 650 yesterday

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 6 of only price based trading

So X has only one method to verify my mobile number for premium &amp; Airtel does not allow sending message to UK number, which is shit on X's part, they should have optimised it and I am not going to put effort over it

Good D - I followed my plan

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 5 of only price based trading

Today was tough but rules saved me. First lets talk about the issue - Price just moved crazily during the asia-london session and as per my bowl strategy but I did not enter.

At one point I thought if price will pullback in london session start and then form an inverted bowl I will enter but I did not monitor also and did not enter also, where I missed the big moves.

1st trade -> NQ short, 5:44 to 5:50
I did finally enter as per bowl strategy - price finally broke down and this time I had to enter and I did as per my logic but price instantly reversed and took SL

2nd trade -> NQ short, 6:00 to 6:10
Again price formed an inverted bowl and as per strategy I had to enter so I did. This time price moved in my faviour a little bit and I moved my stop to breakeven which got hit.
This trade was against the rule as I am only allowed to take a single trade before 7PM if I really feel the opportunity is there and bowl strategy presents itself.

3rd trade -> NQ short, 7:14 to 7:18
Price formed a very clear inverted bowl after multiple manipulation and price was holding on in that area hence I entered which was good and price instantly moved in my favour. At one point around 500 in profit but this too pulled back and took SL. Fortunately I had reduced my SL.

And before entering in the NY session I clearly told myself I am just going to take only 1 trade and follow my 3 trade rule which is what I did. I have to keep talking to myself and enforce these rules every single day no matter what for whole trading career.

Ended the day on -345 and week on +850

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 4 of only price based trading

1st trade -> NQ long, 7:48 to 7:55
Right after open price pumped like crazy, my bias was bearish though as price was clearly forming reverse bowls since morning, but doesn't matter, it went up like crazy and I just kept on waiting.

Price did come back huge and I was waiting for price to form a bowl and break it so I can enter and it did happen and I took trade - good entry and it moved in my favour but the pullback was huge and I was not very confident so I exited. Ideally I should not have exited and my SL should have been below the bown but never mind.

2nd trade -> NQ long, 10:29 to 19:36
Now this trade is debatable. The idea here was price tried to break the level 3 times and failed and on that logic I took a trade for bullish scenario, but now that I write it, it is not as per my strategy (bowl strategy), so I should not have taken it.

This one moved in my faviour initially but I had done breakeven and it hit.

3rd trade -> NQ short, 10:42 to 10:49
Price had formed a reverse bowl and broken it but I faced one serious problem here - price had come down to the edge of the bowl by 10:38 but I was not able to enter, I was looking for a pullback or something to enter (small 1-2 candles) but in 2 candles it fell another 35 points and I thought its gone but then price pulled back a little bit and fell again and I was able to enter capturing 65 points.

One more issue I faced was not being able to enter the trade at 8:06, this was the easiest trade of the day. I was not able to convince myself and looked like it will just break towards down after some movement but all that is shit.

But overall decent day, caught one good trade where I trusted myself and trailed aggressively which was great decision (trailing is pure discretionary).

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 3 of only price based trading

I am so happy, not because of trading but I finally found a syste I can trust - I found a strategy yesterday night, when my trading day was shit and I had back to back losses for days in backtesting. So I just hammered backtesting for 2-43 hours and found my strategy - 'Bowl Strategy'

Just treat price structure like a bowl - when price has formed a structure which is like a regular bowl and trying to break or hold that structure in a specific tf it is bullish and the structure is like inverse bown and price is holding at that level it is bearish. Add your higher tf price structure, you have solid 50% win rate with 1:2 RR.

1st trade -> Shorted Nas at 7:06 to 7:17
Price formed a bearish bowl and even broke it, so I got my confirmation. Only thing was this was openeing and this strategy is not for 10-20 mins after open, but because of multiple previous structures, I trusted it and shorted. At one point price almost took my SL but I was completely calm as I have finally found a strategy.

I need to learn to trust it all the time without my judgement. Only add judgement to determine if the price is determinent to break the bowl structure or not and that too is very objective - If price is holding to that area and moving in the direction of breaking the price it will break it - you just trust it and take entry and if not it will soon come back into the range.

Then after this trade price broke the regular bowl (bullish) multiple times, but I added my judgement of not trusting it thinking price might reverse from adjacent area as it whatever. And even after broke that area, I thought now it might reject from the afternoon levels and price continued breaking all of these levels.

So trust only on what price is doing right now and if it breaking the bowl properly you take the trade that's it

2nd trade -> short nq, 10:54 to 10:55
I assumed price had broken the reverse bowl but it had not, it was just single candle down move after retracement.

3rd trade -> short nq, 11:07 to 11:13
This is classic case of trap, where price gave illuision of properly breaking the reverse bowl but not actually breaking it. In this type of movement I should take a trade (I can't always wait for price actually breaking the bowl as price can just flush after that), only when price had previously broken in the similar direction but not in this case as price was is bullish move (as it had last broken the regular bowl structure).

So for this move, I should have waited for the price to actually break it like it did in 11:28, but that too would have resulted in SL which is completely fine. Anyways moves after 10:30 after not that reliable and my win rate decreases significantly and ideally this is one of that level where I should not be thinking of shorting as by default my bias should always be where price had actually broken the bowl structure last which is bullish not bearish, so I should be looking for break of regular bowl not reverse bowl.

Overall good day - Made 430 in PA and 550 approx in evals

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 2 of only price based trading

Today I was not actually trading based on price. That is because my confidence was absolutely shattered before even entering the market, because of my backtesting results - I am literally not able to catch any trades in backtesting 2024 data, I lost 3 of 4 days then again 3 days.

1st trade -> Long NQ, 7:17 to 7:23
I went into the market looking at the same thing NQ going fucking crazy but when the 1st 1 min bearish candle formed and kind of reversed again but 2nd candle continued in bearish I entered short which was a decent thing.
But then price reversed aggresively so based on my learnings of price in almost all cases of this type and the condition we are in price would have hit any SL, hence I exited, but not this time because I was in the trade. Price just fucking dumped like anything. And I kept on waiting for it to stabilise.

2nd trade -> Long NQ, 7:35 to 7:36
This swings low was what my original target was but who cares. I entered as soon as price stabilised but added very small SL which got hit next minute, logically this would happen and it did

3rd tarde -> Short US30, 7:41 to 7:55
This was not correct but I had no fucking thing I could do. Logically I could only think US30 is bearish and this is the right level to short but I had no evidence of price but again till the time price gives any evidence move had happened or I am not able to catch the move so I had entered placing a limit order. Fortunately it worked

4th trade -> Short US30, 9:38 to 9:47
Yes I should not have taken this one. I should have stopped at 3 trades but I said to myself 1st one was breakeven it does not count. NO IT DOES, every breakeven trade also count 3 mean 3 only. You decide when you want to take it.
I just took this trade as price had manipulated and gone down but it did not break and took SL

Most hurtful thing was shorting Nas at the top after 1st candle getting out because of some absurd move and watching it fall 500 points from there. Also not able to convince myself to enter as I kept saying to myself this move is not true, but apart from 7:30 to 7:40 breakdown, every other breakdown was true, I could have entered anytime and capture 100 points.

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 1 of only trading based on price

1st trade - Long US30, 7:17 to 7:25
Based on price action, price showed that it wants to higher by reclaiming the last high and hence I went long, but I trailed tightly which was right and I was able to exit on time

2nd trade - Long US30, 7:48 to 8:01
After the decent swing low, price started to go up and showed it is on the way to reclaim high. I was early but I was right, it did touch the swing high but reversed and I gave more room this time for SL but it hit and it was good that it hit as price went further lower

3rd trade - Nas, 10:08 to 10:30
After decent swing low, price recovered a little bit but still in bearish model in ltf and there was high potential for price to continue going down and break that low. Price did go lower a little bit but receoverd took SL, went down again but did not break the low and broke the high instead.

And US30 also went to my original target. After this massive move, maybe I should change the strategy a little bit. Enter after price reclaimed high or low, enter with big size (double) - trail aggresively and small targets. Because prices are not going to move that as much as they have already moved aggressively in the upcoming months.

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

God is just not with me. I don't know for what sins I am being punished, if they have so much problem why just end it once and for all, why punishning me every day giving me slow death. I just can't take it god pls help me.

I know I am not doing anything good now, I am not doing good for the society but trust me I am the best person to have money really. I will do something good for the society I will create something, this is just a tool for me to buy my own freedom, I have really good intentions.

This thing has taken everything from me I can't go back plsplsplsplsplspplsplsplpslplpslpslplsplsplsplsplpslpslpslplsplsplsplspslplsq

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 38, 5th may, Tuesday

Breakeven day. Caught 2 good trades both ended up hitting TSL and I was trailing tightly.

1st trade -> Long, US30, 7:26 to 7:28
Price had indicated that it had reversed and going long and hence I entered, just got wicked out and hit my SL. No mistakes here, as per planning. Lost 90 dollars

2nd trade -> Long, US30, 7:29 to 7:45
Price had instantly reversed and I was suppose to enter in this price action as per my trading mechanism and hence I did and it did proved out to be right. Price went up almost 100 points in my favour but I was not trailing tightly and when price reversed it took my out at breakeven.
There are chances that I was trailing tightly but seeing price about to hit my TSL I moved my SL a bit more down.

3rd trade -> Long, US30, 8:25 to 8:53
Price was in a very nice ready to be bullish and I entered exactly at the right moment, had I waited a little more it would have gone. Again price went 100+ points in my favour and this time I remember moving my TSL more down to give more margin to price but it kept on drifting low and eventually hit TSL.

Good thing was I did not moved it below my entrypoint and did not enter again and followed my rules.

But learning is in Dow jones, I should trail bit tightly

[Avi_journal @Avi_journal]

Day 37, Monday, 4th may

Going into the day I was neutral. As price dumped on the news and recovered back hence no bias as such.

1st trade -> US30, Long, 7:47 to 8:07
Price had reclaimed ltf swing high, and it probability wise it makes sense to trade on this pattern and hence I did and it worked out. The good thing was, I was trailing tightly because of this I got trailed out and price completely dumped after that. Made 250 dollars

Learning is - 'Trailing works in my favour so always trail'

2nd trade -> Nas, Long, 9:27 to 9:29
Nas had manipulated twice to go low but did not go. I had 2 options, either to long now or wait for the price to go up break its ltf swing high and then long, but in this case tradeoff was it would have been very difficult for me get entry and hence I entered bit early and was proved wrong. Lost 160 dollars

3rd trade -> Nas, Short, 9:32 to 9:41
Right after I got stopped out price manipulated in 1 min and gave strong bearish candle, but had not broken the low. The same tradeoff was again there - enter now to capture but without actual confirmation or wait for actual confirmation but risk entry. I again entered early and this time I was right. Price dumped, but soon reversed back up. Made 300 dollars

4th trade -> Nas, Long, 9:59 to 10:08
Since price had reversed back up, there were absolutely high probability that price is going to go up for sure and it manipulated and made a pattern of not going down at 9:59, but I had already taken 3 trades so I entered with 2 micros instead of 3 and kept my SL very small, almost no risk and price moved in my favour also but it turned for manipulating again and I got stopped out. Lost 24 dollars.

5th trade -> Nas, Short, 10:26 to 10:30
This was because the long hypo. was invalidated by my mind as if it had to go long it would not retrace this much and one logic I gave myself was Gold and US30 have retraced by 70% from their low at 9:40. And now maybe Nas will go short from here. Lost 40 dollars here.

Out of all 5 trades, 5th one seems to be the stupidest logic. Also, as my rules are concerned, 3 trades and max 2 losses with tight trailing. I can live with 4th trade if I am really getting an opportunity as per my understanding by halving my qty and reducing my SL, but I can not live with 5th trade with any logic whatsover. So just remember this.