Awful Jokes

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5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rape. #statisticaljoke

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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A man walks in to a bar...

He is an alcoholic an slowly ruining his family.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?

Nothing.

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Quickest way to the underworld? A rope and a footstool. #TheFrogs

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What's do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What's better then winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Average penis size: 5.5 inches
Average penis size of guys that google "average penis size": 3.5 inches

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So a guy comes into a bar... o wait, no it was a horse. So this guy cums into a horse.

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Holiday Traveling: time to get my sweatpants and Viagra ready for my buddies at the TSA and their new security checks

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Watching My Sisters Keeper-
me - "I need a tissue"
guy - "are you going to cry?"
me - "no she's just really hot"

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This tear-free shampoo works great, but I still really miss my parents

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I robbed a bank because I wanted to be rich, now I just need to find someone to buy all this sperm.

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I really like the word frequently, I try an use it as often as I can

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "where's my tractor?"

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I'm the kind of person that laughs at their mistakes. It makes it really hard to spend time with my kids

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My lesbian neighbors gave me a rolex for my birthday. Nice but I think they misunderstood me saying "I wanna watch"

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I wonder if fish vaginas sometimes smell like human?

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I came out of the closet to my parents last night, scared the shit outta them

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I just finished reading a book about podiatry. The footnotes were incredible