Dilemma

I hate Bobby Flay.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Woah, check me out. I'm like a designer brand of stupid.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

I love being a woman, but I just really dislike women.

[ren-nifer’s body @wrennne8]

i got overwhelmed by the future & almost cried in three department stores and a mexican restaurant yesterday but the key word there is almost and THAT right there is character development folks

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

@LikePJSoles We're UH...rich here.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

@LikePJSoles Dillard's, the escape room for fancy schmucks.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, and Yukon Cornelius licks his axe*

Me: *starts super brewing* We'll call it Yukon Cornelius Axe liquor.

*distant applause from Tim Allen: Santa Clause killer*

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

https://t.co/ZNRvxU6GRY
And food grade lye makes pretzels what they are, using chemicals to make fruit orbs, and arugula spaghetti. Products such as meat glue. Boom, food science. Just make food from scratch then, you will live healthier, and it truly benefits your lifestyle.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

A small mailbox I painted for my sister for Christmas. Her husband is going into the army, and I… https://t.co/LAKaYKFrDV

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

@LikePJSoles You were probably a dad at the time.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Peace to those who truly wish others genuine happiness, even after the past has happened. There is the true strength in one person. Merry Christmas everyone!

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

I want to poop on everyone's soul.

[Josh Peck @ItsJoshPeck]

The holidays are a great time to focus on what’s important, violently overeating and remembering why you left your hometown.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Oh yeah, like I'm totally in the Christmas spirit, but I'm also just so bitter and hate everyone too. It just makes me...me.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Glad that Lilly doesn't have any social media account, I made her this Stranger Things mirror to… https://t.co/4xqo0mdxiN

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Netflix: Are you there?
Me: Wow, Netflix. Can we have a talk? I could use a good listener.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

If standing up for what I believe and feel makes me a reckless idiot. Well then call me Ishmalian.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Anxiety: Feeling guilt and shame, but also furry for a job that treats and pays you less than what you're worth, but it's also your job that pays for what you find worth it, so you freak out quietly not knowing what to do.

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

When you feel so sleepy in your half awake/half asleep mode, and you start saying things like "my eyes are the consistency of dumplings."

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

"Space Face" for Zach. It's been over a month since your birthday, but it's ready for you! Haha… https://t.co/qEfnXfaiM3

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

Sprint's Motto: Works for Me

Me: Well someones being a little humblebee, huh?

[Dilemma @Awkumentary]

What doesn't need to happen: cooking shows mic-ing the eating sounds of the judges.