CPTSD recovery can be painfully quiet. Nobody applauds you for not sending the message. Nobody sees you choosing not to react. Nobody knows you felt the urge to run and stayed. Nobody knows you finally said no without explaining yourself. From the outside, nothing happened. Inside, you just broke a survival pattern that took years to build.๏ฟผ
The worst part of missing you is that I can't do anything about it. I can't hug you, I can't talk to you, I can't go back. I can only feel it until one day it stops hurting
The dark side of being neurodivergent that nobody talks about is that we're really fun until we're not. we're the funniest person at the party until we're not at the party anymore. we're the best friend you've รชver had until we go quiet for 5 weeks. and you take it personally. and we don't know how to tell you it wasn't you, it was just tuesday.
What AuDHD anger actually looks like
Nothing, nothing, nothing, then the wrong noise at the wrong minute
You're not angry at them. You're at capacity and they're nearest.
It's finished in twenty minutes and they carry it for three days
You can hear yourself doing it while it's happening and can't stop
The shame and guilt afterwards is bigger than the thing that caused it
You've been called volatile by people who didn't see the four hours before
You apologise properly, you mean it, and it happens again on Thursday
Nobody at work has ever seen this version of you