Travis

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

I don’t know what health nut needs to hear this today, but black beans fucking suck, stop putting them in otherwise good dishes.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Those who oppose this are traitors.

All Caps: TRAITORS

What is the penalty for traitors again?

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

#NewProfilePic

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

I swear, we’ll have world peace the day these dumb fucks in south Texas figure out how to do one consistent speed on the highway. They speed up to catch you, then pass you and slow down. Like bro, I’m about to put you in the ditch and doubt the world is going to be missing much.

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

God DAMN I love a good pickle shot

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

I love getting drunk and political, then waking up and trying to figure out what fucking hill I was trying to stand on

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

Really love working my ass off for everything I have just to have some worthless fuck break into my truck and steal my suitcase.

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

People down here are like herd animals; they can’t figure out what the fuck to do if they don’t have someone next to them to watch.

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

Really love how I can’t set my cruise control south of San Antonio because you south Texas fucks can’t pick one speed to do. Check your authority complex and quit speeding up every time someone passes you

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

Really love how I can’t set my cruise control south of San Antonio because you south Texas fucks can’t pick one speed to do. Check your authority complex and quit speeding up every time someone passes you

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

@robbystarbuck I was on the rig floor, pulling sucker rods and tubing out of wells on a workover rig at 13 for my grandfather. I fucking loved it, did it any chance I got when we had a break from school. If kids WANT to work, let them. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

[Tim Young @TimRunsHisMouth]

Just a reminder that the US Capitol building defends itself with walls and razor wire... but Texas isn't allowed to do the same on the southern border.

[Sassafrass84 @Sassafrass_84]

@jimmykimmel Hypocrite much? 🔥🔥🔥

He nailed it. This whole video calls you out.

Grow some balls, Jimmy. 💁‍♀️

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

Getting ready to mount mirrors across my tailgate for all of you fucks that installed LED headlights and didn’t adjust them to road level

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

Rudolph better watch his ass, I’ve still got tags to fill this year.

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

Great, 6 o’clock and dark. Can’t fucking wait to go to work in the dark and come home in it. Least favorite thing about winter

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

I love being 25 and still enjoying Shrek just as much as I did as a kid

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

They’re really need to make the people doing airport boarding calls pass a vocal clarity test. I literally can’t understand dick this lady is saying over the intercom besides the numbers

[Travis @BAMF_Burris]

I’ve had enough of Austin. I paid $10.37 this morning for 2 shitty barbacoa tacos. I about told the lady at the window to fucking keep them when she told me how much I owed

[Seth Dillon @SethDillon]

It turns out coddling young people makes them weak instead of resilient. Who could have seen that coming?

[Kyle Becker @kylenabecker]

Imagine if Donald Trump had met personally with the Moscow mayor's wife.

Then, months later, that Russian oligarch wired $3.5 million to Don Jr. for 'consulting.'

And to complete the transaction, Trump ensured that same oligarch was kept off a US sanctions list.

JUST. IMAGINE.