Brad Austin

born twice. husband. father. lawyer.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Braves win!!!! I’ve waited 22 years for this.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

@brian_hamilton6 People who do that are the worst. 😬

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Is anyone else completely opposed to any strawberry-like drink or flavor due to pepto bismol and it’s association with being sick?

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

I hate the direction #MLB is going. 7 inning double headers, complete rule changes in extra innings, and experimenting in #MiLB with disallowing shifts. America’s pastime is gone.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Just when I thought 2020 couldn’t get any worse, @tacobell goes and cancels the Mexican pizza.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

My son couldn’t sleep so he came in the living room with me. I’m watching the debate. He said: “Daddy, these guys are really mean to each other and are interrupting.” My five year old deserves better.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

I would like to have a candle that smells like the post office. Like you walk in my house and you smell scotch tape, cardboard, glue. All the good stuff.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

@brian_hamilton6 @JordanBise Can I take the layup, miss it, and tap it back in?

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

NEVER have I left my buggy (yes, I say buggy not shopping cart) free in a business parking lot. People who do not return their buggy are psychos. If that is you, stop. You can redeem your wicked ways by returning other buggies left by other psychopaths.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

There is absolutely no excuse for racism. By any person towards any other person. The one thing we cannot control in life is the color of our skin. It’s the most disgusting form of human ignorance.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Sitting in the parking lot at Lowe’s 15 mins before they open. Joined by 30 other men with the same idea.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

@JordanBise @MattSnyderCBS This answer is so wrong, Jordan.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Any other team would let Brady play until he decided he was done. The man has played hurt, he’s taken less money than he deserves for years, and he’s brought home the trophy over and over. But the Pats believe in winning. Period. And that’s why they are the greatest franchise.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Harvard is shutting down for the semester like “look, we have the smartest people in the world, we can’t risk these people getting sick.” But I ain’t seen any community colleges shutting down. Just sayin...

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Obviously there is an escalating scale between a push and a shove given the expression but how hard must I push before it’s considered a shove?

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Been scared half to death twice this week. R.I.P.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Y’all ever get so sleepy at work that you put 5 cubes of ice in your coffee so you can chug multiple cups straight down? Me neither.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Lady driving my Uber doesn’t speak any English, only Spanish. I made the mistake of speaking to her in Spanish and now she’s having a conversation with me thinking I’m fluent. I’ve exhausted my Spanish vocabulary and I’m confused.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

34 degrees at Tri Cities airport. 84 degrees in Orlando. Wish I had a pair of those zip off pants from the 90s.

[Brad Austin @BAUSTIN4]

Getting on a plane this week and I’ve had multiple people bring me masks to wear while traveling. Crazy times we are living in, folks. My hope is that if I wear one nobody will come near me. #win