Trainee BBC journo

I'm (not) a trainee journalist at BBC News reporting on the stories my senior colleagues don't want to.

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Cameron is returning to the UK. He hopes to get some 'sweets and French looking biscuits' on the way to lighten the mood at Cobra tomorrow

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Norman Tebbit has announced he will spend the rest of his life pointing at stuff and patronisingly asking if he can marry it

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Vote of no confidence in Michael Gove is based on fact he can only write words if he has first spat on a window

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Removing ping pong tables from fire stations in England could save £100 million

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Ed Miliband criticises Google tax arrangements, but only after Googling 'How much is corporation tax in the UK?'

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

The number of living people donating an organ to a stranger tripled last year. It went from 1 to 3

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Doctors have warned A&E faces collapse, as most days it is full of TV crews filming how busy it is

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Manchester City are set to announce later today that the successor to Robert Mancini has been sacked

[JEDWARD @planetjedward]

Wide Awake! We cant wait to have cereal because we know its real because it has real in the name

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

In a break from tradition, The Queen will distribute the Maundy Money today by asking for recipients emails and 'PayPalingit' later

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

New exhibition shows Pompeii was very similar to modern day Tunbridge Wells

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

CORRECTION - due to the newsroom being understaffed, we incorrectly reported that Richard Briers has been found in a Waitrose Lasagne.

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Liverpool FC express concern that there is not enough hypocrisy in modern football

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Writing a template article in case N Korea drops the bomb on Seoul. Can change it then if they drop it on DC, NY or GY (Great Yarmouth)

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Results from the North Korean nuclear test show Kim Jong-un got 100% on every question and discovered how to turn waste into peanut butter

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

The Pope is giving up Catholicism for Lent

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

FIA will not cancel #F1 Grand Prix in Bahrain. Rioting is much more interesting than cars going round and round a track #

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Some of David Cameron's best friends are #pasties

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Eric Pickles admits that the price of hot #pasties is the only thing he knows #pastiegate

[Trainee BBC journo @BBCtrainee]

Nick Clegg pays people £250k to have dinner with him. Escorts look confused when he tells them to pretend they represent a Qatari fund