Bud Burchfield

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

“do you want the good news or the bad news first?” buddy no news is worse than finding out i have to make a decision

[soojin ♡ @tofuujin]

my body is not a temple it is luigi’s mansion

[B4 @b_times3]

It’s getting to that point 😕

[glamorous reptile @glamoureptile]

I’m not coming out of my cage nor am I doing just fine

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

“Wasting” my money on take out because I’m lazy? I think you mean “stimulating the local economy” and a “hometown hero”

[its linc @lincandescent]

marketing: lets create a fun and exciting cereal

executive: okay, go on

marketing: it’ll have cool colors and fruity flavors

executive: omg yes

marketing: and rabbits can fuck right off if they think they can have some

[OLIVIA @HoneyEyedOlive]

one time someone said pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time he heard someone ring a bell and i haven’t been the same since

[James @CaucasianJames]

if i vote on ur instagram poll it doesn’t mean we’re cool. i’m simply just exercising my right to vote

[GIA💋 @giainez]

when is it too late to have a baby shower ? cause my mama never had one when she was pregnant with me & i need some clothes

[Bud Burchfield @BBurchfield]

@JoshR_2011 Oh. 😔

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

[whispers to guy sitting next to me in church] are you gonna finish your body of christ

[Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa]

when i bought my giant crystal ball the lady looked me in the eye and said "whatever you do, never EVER leave it uncovered when youre not home" and i said "oh wow because of spirits?" and she said "what? no bc if the sun hits it weird it'll burn down your house"

important lesson

[Taco Bell @tacobell]

Same.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

I only love two things in this world: Mashed potatoes and unmashed potatoes.

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

YOUR SON IS AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

But actually …

[Bud Burchfield @BBurchfield]

When Three 6 Mafia said “When it comes to getting bread I got the keys to the bakery” he was talking about having money and not actually owning a bakery as like a side hobby. Devastated and disappointed.