B

My new novel: Of Shadows and Stars, available for FREE soon. Find out more at

[B @BRAPS96]

@TeaOfJay @ChoctopusYT Yeah, like alcoholism.

[B @BRAPS96]

@witch_bear @PatrickShaw35 @elonmusk Tell me more…

[𝓳𝓮𝓷 @2021jen]

get that tattoo, ur family is already disappointed in u

[B @BRAPS96]

@desiiides Happy Birthday!🥳

[B @BRAPS96]

@dachiefsman @phyllydog53 @50cent Thank me later.

[B @BRAPS96]

@niggaz_no @boogup @JesusPR22143627 @BarackObama Dude looked at his employers social media policy mid tweet and was like “Wait i still need a job, better add a dot dot dot to it. that’ll showem”.

[B @BRAPS96]

@desi_dexx How do you grab anything. How do you even change the channel? Or play candy crush???

[B @BRAPS96]

@Fact Now its rhymzone but close enough 😂

[sofía @_____abadi]

being in your 20s is just going back to liking everything you liked when you were 13 but without being ashamed

[B @BRAPS96]

@HunndoHefner Taurus are the shit. I need to get this tatted already 😭

[CRBN @crbnbll]

My Friend: “You were right! I did like that last song you showed me!”

Me (internally): “Good... now that I’ve earned their trust it’s time to bring out the weeeeeird music. Mwah ha ha ha!”

[CRBN @crbnbll]

Spotify: “So, you like Kenny Beats? based on that you might also like some —.”

Me: “Paramore.”

Spotify: “Interesting, how about...”

Me: “Beethoven.”

Spotify: “Wait..”

Me: “Tibetan Throat Singing”

Spotify: “You can’t just...”

Me: “Wu-Tang Clan.”

[✿ @rxshcustoms]

What’s worse than a breakup? You ever finished a 12 episode anime in a day & realize it didnt have a second season?

[CRBN @crbnbll]

Solid Marketing is convincing people that their anxiety could be solved with Fidget Spinners

[Joshua Hoggard @joshuahoggard]

Look, there’s no way around it. Married couples fight. That’s just reality. The key for all husbands and wives, though, is to only fight couples you know you could beat up.

[Trey @treydayway]

I better go home and eat some pancakes before I slap somebody

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

I saved a ton money on a security system by hanging a picture of my paycheck on the front door.