BYCTOM

Bring Your Champions, They're Our Meat is an incoherent nonsense blog usually about Northwestern football.

Additional writing at

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

sorry to everyone hoping to be done with election ads, I am a powerful advertising executive and my clients have greenlit a 9 figure ad buy of election-style commercials, we're putting the honey nut cheerios bee in black and white and lighting his ass up

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

I should be able to vote no on retaining bears head coach Matt Eberflus

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

technically he's on a two twoey https://t.co/oy79QLozmG

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

The New York Knicks are signing guard Boo Buie to a two-way NBA contract, sources tell ESPN. Buie spent time with the Knicks in training camp and takes an open two-way after the signings of Ariel Hukporti and Matt Ryan.

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

absolutely no reason by grayson allen shouldn't be sitting on the bench in the hannibal lecter restraints

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

BUCK: It's Monday night football, but I think a lot of people are looking ahead to Tuesday. That's right tomorrow's election day and the NFL is reminding you to Tackle the Vote. Troy, did you cast your ballot yet?
AIKMAN: Absolutely, I voted for Joe.
BUCK: Joe Biden?
AIKMAN: No

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

i used to be a real piece of shit. slicked back hair. extra dry beefs at al's. bubble screens for robert tonyan

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

in retrospect it may have been foolish for the bears to assume their coach got better at coaching because his hair was now pushed back instead of slicked back

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

Dis Ebertflus...I give em two t'umbs down for naht knowing how to play bear football.

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

here's this weekend's post https://t.co/zDzsdbYJpJ

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

NEW POST: The Quarterback of Monte Cristo, on Northwestern getting why are you hitting yourselfed by a former QB, the unironic romance of an 11:00AM purdue game, and thoughts on an election (whether to make to put Purdue's new stadium on a train in 1922) https://t.co/ONjLlyEMJp

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

flipping the Days Since The Bears Were Who We Thought They Were sign back to 0

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

matt eberflus is a head football coach the way those hockey pad guys from the dark knight are batmen

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

they are renaming the Peter Principle the Eberflus Axiom

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

they're calling david braun "the maestro of timeouts"

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

matt eberflus says the plan is for the bears to start stevenson at corner but then yank him off the field with a vaudeville hook before the first snap

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

they're saying that northwestern somehow beating illinois at wrigley field to keep the Hat and go to a bowl game as a 5 win team would be the greatest northwestern football game ever played
https://t.co/cZiQkvqGLj

[DJ ½ 🔇 @oneearopen]

@BYCTOM A win over Illinois to back us into Detroit based on APR is feeling more possible to me

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

@oneearopen that's the dream

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

well it is very unlikely happen but we're at the point of the schedule where any northwestern win going forward would be extremely funny

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

i know it worked out this way and was technically correct but going for it on 4th down in OT because you don't think your defense can stop the 2024 northwestern wildcats from scoring a touchdown is one the craziest football strategies i've ever seen

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

no bigger sign that a college offense is cooked then when they decide to rotate the other qb in for a few series just to shake things up and we got to see two teams do that at the same time to disastrous effect in a Northwestern-Purdue game. this is poetry, to me.

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

we also have full BYCTOM election coverage, meaning i wrote a speech by a fake candidate for an unknown office in 1922 obsessed with building a purdue football stadium on a train

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

yesterday's post https://t.co/aFpfF4kOFZ

[BYCTOM @BYCTOM]

NEW POST: The Quarterback of Monte Cristo, on Northwestern getting why are you hitting yourselfed by a former QB, the unironic romance of an 11:00AM purdue game, and thoughts on an election (whether to make to put Purdue's new stadium on a train in 1922) https://t.co/ONjLlyEMJp