Baby Hellraiser

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Yes mom, I did put that clementine in the shower. I thought you would enjoy a snack next time you're in there. You're welcome.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Mom. I swear I didn't know you would burn your arm on the oven when I ran at you. #HappyThanksgiving

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Vomit no longer fazes this woman. Threw up on her foot while she was on the phone and she didn't miss a beat. Kept on yapping. Srsly mommy?

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

I slept for a few hours, and now I'm all done sleeping. Why can't you guys just respect that instead of trying to force the issue?

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Nice save mom. I wasn't 100% sure you'd catch me when I hurled myself off my changing pad, but I'm glad you did. Dad would've been pissed.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

No mom, I don't want you to read me one book. I want you to read me twenty. There. It's decided.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

So what if I panic when you put a shirt over my head? What if it DID get stuck mom? We don't need to discuss probability just possibility.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Mom. My head is sweating in your arm so of course I'm going to cry about it. Turn the air up or something.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Now that I can walk, I'm a big girl. So yes, I will scream like a wild banshee every time you try to put me in the stroller. Get used to it.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Mom. Your job is to sit in my room next to me while I nap. You can play on the iPad or your phone, but no, you may not leave. Seriously.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

So what if I wanted to see what your toes taste like mom? Solution to your problem: socks.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Mommy is so mean. All I want to do this afternoon is chew on this end table, and she is having none if it. #partypoopermommy

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Waited until right after mom showered and put on clean clothes to throw up down her shirt. Gotcha sucker.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

So what if I threw up on the stroller. Everything should be washable mom.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

What? You wanted to sleep last night mom? It's more fun to be awake for a few hours to break it up. Sleep is so boring.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

I was gung ho for our nature walk until we saw all the signs about coyotes. Mom vs. coyote is not a match I'd like to see.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

I waited for my teachers to come today to start walking all over the place. The look on mom's face was priceless.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

So what if I do like to play in vomit? Don't judge me mommy.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

That's right. I was incredibly well behaved for our company tonight. I want everyone to think my parents are liars. So far it's working.

[Baby Hellraiser @BabyHellraiser]

Acquired a pink balloon from the Home Depot for my collection. Epic Saturday morning.