Jake Cain

Do not go gently....

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

Last night, I told a very drunk man with a tear drop tattoo on his face that I pooped my pants so he would stop talking to me

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@Samanth99195715 Baddie for sure

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@Samanth99195715 The Guilty Remnant*

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

Alabama, Arkansas 😂

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

Trying to find a better term for the male anatomy member. Penis sounds too childish, cock was ruined by its overuse in porn titles (so I’m told), and I think dick more aptly describes a Brad/Chad #theimportantquestions

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@FormaL just curious, but are the rumors true? Does @scump sit when he pees? #betteraccuracy?

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@MsRebeccaBlack Ok I really need your help sending a message to @hayley_mcf. I just tweeted the story, tagging you bc you're 100% involved, but then I realized that she hasn't tweeted in 1-2 years and for whatever reason this would mean a lot. Lmk, bc I'm not famous so yikes

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@hayley_mcf @BabyJake32 @MsRebeccaBlack with your permission, I'd like to switch my biggest flex over to that approximately 5-10 sec window on July 20, 2013, where @hayley_mcf took time out of her day to reply to some random kid with an unrealistic crush across the country

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@hayley_mcf @BabyJake32 Honestly, I date myself, but I think I had to start new tweet to finish point. @MsRebeccaBlack you too. I'm embarrassed to admit that I'd actively NOT talk up @hayley_mcf so she wouldn't become "too famous". Hahaha in my defense I'm pretty sure male brains develop slower. 1 more

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@hayley_mcf @BabyJake32 Here I was scrolling through my old twitter to send @MsRebeccaBlack proof that she used to follow me and to switch to this account, it's been my only and biggest flex since I was like 17. I say this with the utmost respect for you @MsRebeccaBlack, but @hayley_mcf was the dream

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@realDonaldTrump Care to comment on the rumor that you smell like cheese?? #exposed

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

I wish women saw me the way that gay dudes do. Side note, saying “women” doesn’t really feel right, but I also feel like I’m too old to say “girls”.

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

Some high schooler on Xbox told me that nobody his age has Facebook as it’s an old person thing. I’m shook

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@MorganWileman Goals

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@CryBaby_4 #tbt #420

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@mariamcmahon_ Next time just @ me ok 🙄

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@Bcain97 I was a fucking wizard

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

Met a hedgehog today. Now I must have a hedgehog #millennial

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

@CassieHall9 I wear mismatched socks...

[Jake Cain @BabyJake42]

“I’m not worried about what’s going to happen when I’m thirty, because I am never going to make it to thirty. You know what life is like after 30 - I don’t want that.” -Kurt Cobain