A Bacterium

Much more treatable than being viral

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Every volume slider be like:
0-75%: can’t hear shit
75-90%: the actual volume slider
90%+: exponential non-consensual sound waves in my eardrum

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

American Protestants will look at the pope and say it’s been overrun by libs and not realize that it’s a problem they have found themselves more dogmatic than the god damn Roman Catholic Church.

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Why am I followed by two humans and a bunch of porn accounts. This is a burner do not follow me I will not tweet things or follow back

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

There’s nothing more annoying than people who think turning 30 is a personality trait. Congrats on not dying, idiot

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

The S in TSM stands for Society

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Really wondering what it’s like to be inside the head of someone who believes that “adventurous” is a legitimate personality trait

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Men on tinder trying to make their jawline look sharp

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

By far the dumbest things on this site are the “steal your meme” memes

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Wtf do they use to attach the stickers by the door on the outside of an airplane. Shits ripping through the air at 400mph and yet that sticker doesn’t fall off?!?!?

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

18: don’t worry, next years cod will actually be good
21: don’t worry, next years cod will be good
25: don’t worry, next years cod will be good

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

@ArmyBarstool @ZeroBlog30

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

“Why are you on your phone in public?” Cause I’m browsing shitposts on reddit, what about it?

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Pretty bold of Quinn XCII to assume I know what number to actually say after his name. Literally been saying 42 in my head for years

[New Jersey @NJGov]

your mom

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Can’t wait to point out my video is meant to be satirical. It’s such a good joke everybody could tell I wasn’t being serious

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Beat fallen order so it’s time to rev up those fryers (difficulty) cause I sure am ready to be masochistic

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Grinding lmg camos in war. I have become the very thing I sought to destroy

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Turning up the difficulty in fallen order cause it’s the only thing that gives me excitement anymore

[A Bacterium @BacterialTweet]

Copy pasting two viral tweets together to make a new tweet