Bad Literary Agent

Parody of a Literary Agent / Actual Schmagent. Queen of the #querytip. To waste your time, query me at [email protected].

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

It feels so damn good to have all the fucking power. Oh, and hiiiiiiiii!!! #amagenting #amwriting #ThursdayThoughts #fuckitallfriday

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

@laurenspieller Thank you.

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

@WiscoWriterGuy Good luck with that

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

@laurenspieller I forgot about you more

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

Just letting you know, I see you. And if you constantly talk about #amwriting, you’re just making me laugh at you.

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

And just so you know, here is what I went through: I gained 15 pounds because my gym closed. I had the Moderna vaccine, and it made me bloated for a week. And Frankfurt was fucking canceled. Canceled!? I cancel you, Frankfurt! Don’t even.

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

Just so you know, if you pitched me during covid, you’re dead to me because your insensitivity to my own personal struggles during covid makes you unacceptable in the publishing world.

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

@Perch313 @Sandy70705245 @catturd2 So, Trump is like the equivalent of the King of England? God-given powers, etc.?

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

@PhilippeKeb @realDonaldTrump That was effective.

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

Oh good lord. I come back to Twitter for this?

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

@sheilacalla You’ve been watching the Oa?

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

The elevator pitch is dead, people. Don’t you dare even think about telling me about your book. I’m way too important for that. Show some respect. Kiss my damn ring.

[J Ambrose @literal_janelle]

@JohnnieWonder @BadLitAgent omg I'd better stock up on whiskey...

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

The Campbell Apartment reopened. So that's where I've been obviously.

[Ned Randle @NedRandle]

@BadLitAgent cruelest comment on Twitter.

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

Whine whine whine. You didn't send your submission. Whine whine whine. You didn't accept my offer. Whine whine whine. #agentlife #querytip

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

Signal boosting because damn, this piece is powerful. I don't rep her genre (fantasy), but bitch can write, right?! https://t.co/LL2oOSYtZn

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

Well well well it seems the great JJB has officially lost her sense of humor.

[Bad Literary Agent @BadLitAgent]

@JJohnsonBlalock I thought you'd appreciate being appreciated.