Tim Roeder

Slinging beans

[Tim Roeder @BadTimpressions]

Im like Popeye but with hotdogs

[💫Tribe 13X 🔻 💫 @B00K0FTRIBE]

I imagine working for Tom Cruise would be like working for a real life mr boss

[i think @kutaiuranium]

saying “sure why the hell not” as i blow my leg off with a shotgun

[Hoops McCann @ravidravidravid]

Got bored of alcohol, now I just sit on my couch and toss a flashbang onto my living room floor

[jonathan @downleftrightup]

Just lied about beating someone in Mario baseball so I could get some pussy

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

by age 22 you should have set someone's downfall in motion. by age 25 your own downfall should be set in motion

[Tim Roeder @BadTimpressions]

Sitting on a warm toilet seat is like touching a bloodstain in a FromSoft game

[Kyle Kushblasta @SkinnyTuna]

sometimes you just gotta kill yourself and then keep goin

[FLANNEL @sameflannel]

in 2012 he rapped about doing this kind of shit and it sounded kinda crazy at the time. now look

[2 Nut (Pick Up) 🇵🇸 @hueoops]

Gilgamesh getting resurrected to watch Tim Duncan Spurs in the 2003 NBA finals

[keegan @Keegan59992745]

OKC can enjoy their time in the sun, it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. When judgement day comes, no one on this Thunder team will be granted an eternity in Gods kingdom.

[Hoops McCann @ravidravidravid]

Growing up I had a dog that said a sentence to me in English seconds before (or maybe during) an aneurism, which killed him. After a decade of bad/failed coping I had a hypnotherapist remove that sentence from my memory, but I could never remove the look in his eyes as he spoke.

[miss worm @missus_wormy]

I met Obama. She’s black

[Tim Roeder @BadTimpressions]

Went to a collector’s markets with my bird in the hand. Some guy had the gall to offer me one in the bush. Go fuck yourself dude, I know what I got.

[SHITTER ASS @SHlTTERASS]

jontron’s bird just flew in my window and started whispering fake race science statistics in my ear

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Tag a friend who belongs in this collage!

[Grabbing YOU @tom_on_here]

If the cat in the hat tried any of that bullshit in my house, I’d shoot him dead

[Jeff Johnson @JeffJSays]

Nah this edit is crazy 😭

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

everyone i’ve met from Arizona seems like they dont have a human soul , but rather like a horse or a cow soul . not a bad thing — just different .

[___…___ @OIOOIlOO____]

Listening to the Nuggets/Wolves announcer say:

“we saw players leave the benches in game 4 but they didn’t really get involved in anything so there were no suspensions”