Todas las veces que te busqué fue porque solo recordaba lo lindo que habíamos pasado y todo lo bueno que hiciste por mí. Pero ahora, cuando intento buscarte, lo único que viene a mi mente es la última vez que te vi: me hiciste llorar, me humillaste y me hiciste sentir una mierda. Entonces se me quitan por completo las ganas de saber de ti.
I can't hate the people I once loved.
I've tried.
I've replayed the lies. The betrayal. The gaslighting. The broken promises. The damage that was done.
But however much it hurt, hatred just won't live in me for long. That isn't weakness. It isn't forgetting. And it is definitely not me excusing what happened.
The truth is, my mind always reaches for understanding. Not excuses. Understanding.
I can usually see what's driving someone, even when I can't stand what they did.
I can see the frightened child behind the controlling adult. The insecurity behind the arrogance. The abandonment wound behind the manipulation. The shame behind the mask.
That doesn't make the behaviour okay. It just makes it make sense.
Some people think healing means learning to hate the one who hurt you. I don't.
Healing, for me, is being able to look straight at the truth without needing hatred to hold it in place.
I don't have to call someone a monster to know they caused harm. I don't need rage to remember my boundaries. I don't need revenge to prove my experience was real.
What happened, happened. The damage was real. The lessons were expensive.
But carrying hatred for years just keeps the injury alive inside me, paying rent in a space that should be mine.
Understanding someone does not hand them back access to me. It doesn't earn them another chance. It doesn't mean I owe them forgiveness, or a place in my future.
It just means I can see the whole picture.
That people often act from their own wounds, fears, and broken ways of coping. Some become apeople-pleasers. Some become rescuers. Some become controllers. Some become narcissists.
Different survival strategies. Different damage.
The older I get, the more I see it: understanding and boundaries can live side by side.
I can understand why you did it. I can understand where it came from. I can even feel for the pain that shaped you.
And still decide it has no place in my life.
That's the part people miss.
Compassion is not permission. Empathy is not access. Understanding is not agreement. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.
I don't hate the people I once loved.
But I don't abandon myself trying to save them anymore either.
I can hold two truths in the same hand.
You were hurting. And you hurt me.
I understand what drove you. I still honour my boundaries.
I wish you healing.
Just not at my expense.
Your ex is probably somewhere painting you as the villain to his new girlfriend — and she's smiling like she just hit the jackpot. Let her. Because you already know something she doesn't know yet. You know how that story ends. You know what's underneath the charm and the early effort and the "I've never felt this way about anyone" speech he's probably already given her. You know what it looks like when the mask slips. You know what it costs to love someone who makes everything your fault.
Tal vez si fuera más interesada me iría mejor, pero no sé abrazar si no me nace, no sé sonreír si no me caes bien, no sé regalar mi tiempo si no te quiero de verdad, se me noto en la cara cuando no estoy cómoda y no sé fingir detalles, si los doy es porque me sale del corazón, no de la costumbre.
Algunos hombres: "Odio los dramas."
También esos mismos tipos de hombres: triángulos amorosos, hijos secretos, esposa, varias amantes, una ex a la que le siguen escribiendo... y traumas emocionales sin resolver.
No estás rodeado de drama.
Tú eres el drama que no ha querido sanar.
Si tienen un amor bonito, por favor no se mientan, no se oculten cosas, no permitan que cualquier cosa los aleje, no se dejen en visto no más por dejarse, no luchen por ver quien aguanta más sin hablarle al otro después de una discusión, no se celen en exceso, no hagan cosas que hagan sentir inseguro al otro. Constrúyanse, cuídense, presúmanse, háganse cariñitos, ayúdense a crecer, gánenle a los miedos, a la distancia y a cualquier obstáculo que se les atraviese, que de eso se trata de caminar junto a la persona correcta. 🫶🏻💖
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¿Ya la conoces?
🏩 @SwingerSuite 🏩
🗓️ Viernes y Sábados
📍 Hotel Mexicali #CDMX
🎧 Music by @LupitoBarbonDJ
❤️🔥 Show erótico
🥂 Barra Libre
🍾 Cava
🍴 Alimentos
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