Amber Melton

If I'm on here it probably means I'm avoiding adult responsibilities.

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

@Starbucks needs to create a secret menu for moms where we get a Trenta for the price of a Venti and a breakfast item for half off because you know we only ate whatever the kids didn't.

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

I could be in the middle of nowhere, fb won't load, IG won't load... yet somehow I'm still getting calls about my car's extended warranty.

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

S. Nmmto 44oshttps://youtu.be/HNBCVM4KbUM

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

@netflix if you're going to release season 5 of a show, release all the seasons!! #60daysin

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

No one ever told me that being an adult is just doing dishes and laundry over and over. They're never done. Just constant cleaning.

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

Thank you @walkerhayes for spending 1,125 minutes with me (and my son, Beckett) this year on @Spotify. You are my #1. #2020Wrapped https://t.co/rhAt5IOubR

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

I'm the mom in FB mommy groups that offers to fight people.
"Oh your MIL is shaming you for still breastfeeding after 8 months? Want me to fight her?"
"Your husband only bought himself coffee when he went out? Want me to fight him?"

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

@cksaul @JobsUT And some stuff you have to mail in vs submitting online, which is a joke; there should be an option to do either

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

Fucking bull shit

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

what the fuck is happening WHAT IN THE FUCK

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

Am I the only person who gets annoyed when someone puts the "before" picture on the right?

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

The ONE TIME I try to be a productive adult that doesn't procrastinate and all the websites are broken.

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

Rando person's fb post: "Hey I thought this would be fun. Just post......."
Me: "How 'bout no. That's too much effort. I'll answer this 20 question quiz instead"

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

Sometimes I see the most relatable funny tweets and feel like someone else stole my invention and got famous for it. I need to tweet more!

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

@AleyHoggan I wright about the brothers. #MomsGotDadJokes

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

@emmeth42 Oh shit what now??

[cksaul @cksaul]

I wonder how people in the future will explain climate change deniers... “But teacher, why didn’t anyone believe the scientists? Why didn’t they do anything?”

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

Never let someone to make you feel bad or guilty for setting boundaries in a toxic relationship. Their guilt is not your responsibility. How they respond and navigate their life is not your responsibility.

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

Oh shit! Make that 102!
#Blessed

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

I just wanted you all to know I finally hit 100 following!!
Not followers. Following. It's exciting. There are 100 people on twitter I like enough to follow.

[Amber Melton @Bamboo2187]

One time at work someone started the idea of leaving anonymous compliments on our coworkers desk; if you got one, you left one for someone else.
It was put to an end when someone complained that they didn't want their (company bought) sticky notes being wasted.
#PettyAF #work