Nick Foster

Pandas are my spirit animal

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

A grocery store chain in PA has this robot 'Marty' that goes around and pages "clean up in the ___ department" until someone comes by and today an employee kicked the robot and said "shut up Marty I fucking hate you" and that was by far my favorite shopping experience to date

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

@FedEx How do you allow a shipment to be signed by someone who doesn't live at the address when the truck didn't even drive by my address that day and then just say this? Terrible

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

@POTUS what's your Venmo? Your check for $20k bounced

[BaseballHistoryNut @nut_history]

MLB bullpens when a brawl breakouts

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Based on a true story I had the unfortunate experience of witnessing today

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Turned 30 last week and got carded at a bar in Slovakia where the drinking age is 18 🙃

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

@notyourhrlady I know a famous person!

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

TIL that in Austria a chocolate Santa Claus is called a Schoko Nikolo and that's just way more fun to say

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

I went the wrong way on a tram last night and it took me 2 stops to realize this

[St Louis CITY SC @stlCITYsc]

A great game against a great team. Thanks for celebrating this historic night with us, STL!

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Big Bang 2.0, but this time it just takes all the dinosaurs out of Congress

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Daylight savings is a SCAM

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Especially with that fancy new arena

[Arizona Coyotes @ArizonaCoyotes]

Rolling in style 😎

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Saw @4HandsBrewingCo Rock and Roll beer on the shelves and thought it looked familiar. Dug up this can from a box in my closet

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Temporarily changing my height to 6' on dating apps since the boot for my broken ankle adds an inch

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Should I buy a bonsai tree from the Japanese Festival?

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

I turn 30 in 4 months and I just got denied a beer because I left my ID in my hotel room

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Me: I need to do more things and get out there to meet new people
Also me: sits at home and reads 350 pages in one night

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

Quiktrip rollers are now 2/$3.50? Thanks Biden!

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

An uninsured driver backed into the side of my car in a parking lot on father's day
I had to pay the deductible because there was no proof of fault for insurance.
The repair's now gonna take another week and I am now paying over $1000 for a rental when this wasn't my fault.
🤬🤬

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

@NcBaum2point0 That's another new one for me. So much learning this week!

[Nick Foster @BananasFoster29]

I've been wearing a sweatshirt at work that says "Send Nooners" in the design of the High Noon logo for a couple months and after all this time someone just told me "nooner" has another definition thats quite different from the seltzers