Banjo Handle

Researcher, batheticist, 2018 Brass Spittoon recipient, cofounder of Hürndklogg Institute, confounder of threadbare dreams. Trepidation urged. #LonghavenHams 🏆

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Once, men spoke of an aether, a sublime Platonic medium for incandescent, or even metaphysical, transmission. Of a grand Returning of what had been lost. I rely on string and a rudimentary pulley system. #HowIGotMyGrooveBack

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Another transcendent sunrise reverie, golden harbinger of fortitude and renewal, interrupted suddenly by waterfowl. My outlook, and my suit, will never be the same. #LostFaith #SaturdayMorning #HonkedOff

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

There are at least two kinds of kiwi. #WednesdayWisdom #FloraAndFauna #CaveatEmptor

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

I’m relatively certain that these stripes were horizontal yesterday. #TuesdayThoughts #Changes #PossiblyNotMySwimAttire

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Unexpected feedback today. Constructive, doubtless well intentioned, yet oddly off-putting. Do I merely overreact? Do I catastrophize in the face of negligible outliers? Are the deli meats I resemble a common topic of public discourse? #NotOliveLoaf #OddThingsToSayInALockerRoom

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

The dawn brings grey familiarity but also new resolve, the cold clarity of hindsight hard-won, the increasingly insistent profanity of competitive street mongers. #loud #SaturdayMorning #MongSomewhereElse

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

My youth was a sepia blur of inoffensive meals and cautious euphemisms. #nostalgia #BragAboutYourGeneration #WhirligigParenting

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Where does one sandwich end, and the next begin? If they are stacked, I mean. How divisible the continuum? #ThursdayThoughts #CrustToCrust #IsThatWhereTheWichComesFrom

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

“Thank you for your recent submission. Unfortunately, we presently have no plans of publishing an epistolary haiku adaptation of Leviticus, but we admire your creativity and encourage you to keep writing.” #4thTimesTheCharm #ShareYourRejections #KindergartenWasDisappointing

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

The spool again. Huge, encircled with the stoutest of twines, dogging my steps and taunting with the merest semblance of explicability, a mocking pretense of purpose. Why, I ask in silent consternation; in God’s name, why? #Why #ThingsThatConfuseMe #SomeEnormousPastryBoxPerhaps

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

A setback. An indispensable piece of luggage (my father’s own portmanteau), left by mischance on a public conveyance. Where is it now? What has it undertaken in my absence? #TravelTuesday

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

I, fearful at present, here. My trousers, seemingly animated, yonder. The space between, never so charged nor so contracted. #pareidolia #jeopardy #sleepeludesme

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Displays of human solidarity never fail to move me. Today, the people in the buffet line, strangers joined by contingency and shared purpose, cornering the elderly woman monopolizing the lobster tray, moved me in a different way. #Shellfishness #ForTheAlliance #MorePotatoesForMe

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

@BNwillbortz @freelovingwitch How do you bloom space? #baffled

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Apologies. The other seats were comparatively ill-situated.

[Roy Klementsen @Roybq]

Being the only person in an empty movie theater...and the next person who walks in sits right next to me. #MyBiggestPeeve

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Do we not all daily weather a gnawing emptiness, a psychic void? Is it not human to buttress our selfhood, vainly, with charms of reassurance? Will I not seek yet another air plant? #EasyToCareFor #ExpensiveThough #HowIdSpendManafortMoney

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Use lemon rind sparingly. #trustme #4WordCookingAdvice #regrets

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

To wake, to greet the dawn, to embrace the new day, surrounded by wicker. Do I own wicker items? Where did these come from? #SundayMorning

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

You impugn, indeed dare sully, a venerable display of civic pride, and for what? Childish wordplay? Crass commercialism? My outrage is unbounded! I demand contrition, and a slice.

[Garlic Jim's Pizza @garlicjim]

Today is #NationalNewJerseyDay and we'd like to participate, but we can't figure out whose new jersey to buy... taking suggestions from @Mariners fans. Cruz? Diaz?

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Two years ago today, in a dimly lit room and a moment of enthusiastic misjudgment, I attempted to take my own photograph in a mirror and nearly blinded myself. #FlashbackFriday

[Banjo Handle @BanjoHandle]

Salutations and annunciations! I give you #NationalNewJerseyDay! Coincidentally, it is also World United States Day and North American My Block In Particular Day. #daysandconfused