Order of the Phoenix
In Malfoy Manor, Voldemort is meeting with Malfoid again...
Voldemort: "Report, my dear."
Malfoid: "My Lord... Um... Potter was tried. They changed his court date to try and make him late, but he made it."
Voldemort: "Good. What then?"
Malfoid: "The hearing that proceeded was a farce, My Lord. Fudge humiliated himself, as did his Undersecretary Umbridge. She tried as hard as possible to destroy Potter... But she failed! He was found not guilty."
Voldemort: "Excellent! It would not do for my foe to be dismissed from the magical world due to the machinations of one such as her. What did you do with Potter?"
Malfoid: *blush* "My Lord?!"
Voldemort: "What did you do?"
Malfoid: "I... W-Well... I gave him my handkerchief before the hearing, for luck."
Voldemort: "Good. It will endear him to you further. Did you learn where he is staying?"
Malfoid: "No My Lord. I... I didn't ask. He had a confrontation with my father and... And I didn't want him to think..."
Voldemort: "That's quite all right child, quite all right. It serves my plans for him to be safe. For now. You may go."
Malfoid leaves. Voldemort chuckles as Wormtail cringes.
Voldemort: "Ah... Like a lady giving her knight her banner as he rides into battle! So beautiful! So-Wormtail, what's your problem?"
Wormtail: "Umbridge?! Dolores Umbridge?! She's Undersecretary to the Minister?!"
Voldemort: "You know her, Wormtail?"
Wormtail: "That bitch... My friends, they'd set me up with Heather Washburn in seventh year to lose my virginity!"
Voldemort: "The witch who went off to America to become a supermodel?"
Wormtail: "YES! We were at the Three Broomsticks, the mood was right... Some girl took my hand and led me to the upstairs rooms... And when it was over, the lights went on, the door opened... James, Sirius, Remus and Heather were looking at me! I looked... And... And UMBRIDGE WAS MY FIRST!" *sobs* "THE BITCH CACKLED! SHE'D DONE IT OUT OF SPITE!"
Voldemort: "... As your Dark Lord who has general contempt for you, Wormtail, I must say: That's rough, buddy."
Wormtail: *sob* "Please tell me when we take power I can take my revenge on her? PLEASE?"
Voldemort: "I'll think about it."
Wormtail: "My apologies, my Lord, for my outburst."
Voldemort: "Completely understandable."
Wormtail: "If... If you must punish me-"
Voldemort: "No, no, Crucio is overkill for this. I'll just have you relive the moment Umbridge took your virginity for an hour or two."
Wormtail: "NOOOOOOOOOO-!"
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