El Barden

I'm an everchanging constant. Shifting into higher cosmic vibes.

[El Barden @BardenMs]

I’ve must have hit a new level of ADD. I don’t have the patience to be on Twitter like before. Damn, I miss those orange pills...

[El Barden @BardenMs]

Another day down and another dog gone.

[El Barden @BardenMs]

Trying to get back in the saddle again. This time I’m wearing cowboy boots. 🤞

[Henry 3000 @Henry_3000]

I'm dead to me.

[@ndiquote @ndiquote]

Never waste your time on reading irrelevant stuff on the Internet like this tweet.

[Ryan @mjkspeaks]

[first date]

ME: i disagree with your political posts on fb.

HER: wait we’re friends?

ME: *slides her phone across table* no.

[The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian]

Naps, the original life hack:

1) Sad? There's a nap for that.
2) Tired? There's a nap for that.
3) Angry? There's a nap for that.

[Zooey Béchamel @femmetosell]

Stranger:"I have sort of a love/hate relationship with gluten."
Me:"Me too"
*flashback to a loaf of bread burning my house down*
"...Me too"

[El Barden @BardenMs]

Is this heaven, she asked.
No dear, not til we're together.

[SavoirFail 🇺���� @SavoirFail]

The truth is I am mostly thankful, and regret little, but I do wonder sometimes,

wistfully.

[SΞASTONESTREET @clindsaysway]

Seems like the sunrise should be louder.

[Trent Sanamuerto @DareMachina]

@atstephenbell @ADAMATOMIC Don’t forget about the Stardust constellation that we got after Bowie passed away!

[NoStopButton @clean_not_sober]

False advertising. Know how to to recognize it in people and avoid all the drama.

[El Barden @BardenMs]

When I look at the moon and it looks back I get scared.

[CIA @CIA]

We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.

[El Barden @BardenMs]

Yeah, it's me. I'm not staying long, just passing through. Ghost that I am.

[Miss TeaSea @b4sage]

Dying is sort of my thing.

[Bat Boy @brianbowman73]

You want me to lower the slope of the yard?

Don't you know how de-grading that is?

[JustUs @RoseCharade]

Our sex life was just one failure on top of another. Night after night.