BargeeGomer

I share random stories and stupid or embarrassing memories from my childhood.

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

We went to the movies today with my parents and saw an ad for some Harry Potter world at Disney with a Niffler and my mom goes “Look at that platterpus!”

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Grandma: “There’s a whole bunch of Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge for you to take home. That whole container of Kalamazoo is for you.”
Me: “…the container of what?”
*Grandma hands me a tiramisu*
Grandma: “It’s too strong for me.”

#thingsmygrandmasays

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Guy at the bar to a lady: “How far away do you live from here?”
Lady: “One cigarette away.”
David: “Americans will use anything but the metric system.”

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

If you ask my grandma where we went on vacation she’ll tell you Gettysburg and Pigeon Forest. Except, we went to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge. #thingsmygrandmasays

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Me: “You know, Jimmy Carter *technically* can still run for president.”
Grandma: “Didn’t he have autism?”
Everyone: 🧐
Grandma: “Dementia!”

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Grandma: “I was outside today grating Irish spring soap into my hospice’s. It’s supposed to stop the deer from eating them.”

I’m pretty sure she means hostas 🤣

#thingsmygrandmasays

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

References my Gen Z coworkers don’t get. Today it was Stretch Armstrong.

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Harp loves watching @SSS_Stream VODs. Especially when her “friends” are on screen.

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

The best quote from thanksgiving was:
Dad: What’s it called when you fold paper into an animal?
Mom: Abercrombie?
David: …Origami…

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Me: The guy at the camera shop said he would only give me $20 for my old camera!
Grandma: Did you tell him “Does it look like I have ‘lollipop’ on my forehead?!”
Mom: …you mean ‘sucker’?
#thingsmygrandmasays

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Mom: They have that big bus that’s going to get towed if they don’t park it somewhere!
Grandma: Well Pat can’t drive it! You need a CBD license to drive one of those.
#thingsmygrandmasays

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

@DrawfeeShow Is @DavidClarkie a Yinzer?! I noticed the jagoff mention in the edit!

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

On Christmas, we did the “guess how many candies are in the jar” game and Grandma said “Ok, let’s see who won the rollovers!” (Rolos) #thingsmygrandmamispronounces

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

My favorite out-of-context news story quote of the day:

“Police did not offer any information about why the teenager was in the trash can, but said in their tweet that she “fell asleep” in the trash container.”

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Lovely convo with my cousin.

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

Me: We couldn’t decide what we wanted to eat for dinner.
Mom: Why didn’t you just call and order a pizza or stromboni?
#thingsmymomsays #whatisastromboni

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

While dropping my grandma’s sister off at their other sisters house on the way to bingo and their brother came outside. He was talking about an upcoming gun bash and said "This year they are giving away one my favorite trucks! It’s one of those Ford Raptures."

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

I thought #joehaden ‘s hair reminded me of something

[BargeeGomer @BargeeGomer]

#moviesiveneverseen I’ve been wanting to see the new Ghostbusters movie but I should probably see the originals first 🤭