As an AD, one of the hardest things I witness our coaches deal with is a parent wanting it more than their child. Coaches use offseason work ethic, skill, athleticism, and what is most valuable to the team when determining playing time.
Parents often hear from their child that the coach does not like them, that it is unfair, or that favorites are being played. In many situations, the harder truth is that the child simply does not love the sport as much as the parent does.
That can lead to parents fighting battles with coaches that their child should be learning to handle themselves. One of the most important lessons sports can teach young people is how to communicate, compete, handle adversity, and advocate for themselves.
Playing time is rarely about one conversation or one moment. It is usually about consistency, effort, preparation, attitude, and trust built over time.
This has become an ongoing trend in sports today. The athletes who grow the most are usually the ones who learn to accept coaching, respond to challenges, and take ownership of their role instead of relying on others to fight their battles for them.
Overprotected kids become unprepared adults.
Dawn Staley nailed it.🔥
You can’t shelter your child from every hard moment and then expect them to handle adversity when it counts.
Hard is the lesson.
What’s one hard lesson sports taught you that helped later in life? 👇
I had a conversation with a Power 4 college coach who’s been doing this for 25+ years.
We were talking about the mentality of high school players during the recruiting process.
Here’s what he told me:
“What these kids don’t realize is…
I don’t care how many followers you have.
I don’t care how many home runs you hit in travel ball.
I don’t care how many offers you have.
I don’t care about your ranking.
I don’t care how hard you can hit a ball.
I don’t care about your metrics.
The only thing I care about is this:
Are you going to produce in between those white lines when we play this season?”
Then he said something else that hit:
“They’ve been so protected that the first time they fail, they quit… or they transfer.”
And here’s the part that matters.
The biggest development mistake I see?
Players don’t plan for failure.
They plan for success.
They visualize success.
They expect success.
But they don’t prepare for 0-4.
They don’t prepare for getting booed.
They don’t prepare for sitting the bench.
They don’t prepare for struggling for 3 weeks.
So when it happens — and it will — they panic.
Instead of executing a pre-made plan, they try to create one while emotional.
That never works.
Failure is coming.
The question is:
Did you already decide how you’re going to handle it?