Kristian Bates

"If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done."--Bruce Lee

[nygma0451 @nygma0451]

You prefer to play Jill over Chris in RE1make because she's easier.

I prefer to play as Jill so I can occasionally stare at her fat ass.

We are not the same.

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

Triple platinum on Jack Skellington tattoo on cottage cheese thighs Facebook.

[Kristian Bates @BatesKris93]

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time came with the original PoP as an unlockable for beating the game. Same with NARC.

Good times.

[S3Plan @S3Plan]

Next gen remakes of classic games should come preloaded with the original game.

[🔱⚓️🏴‍☠️🇺🇸I'm The One Called Doc🇺🇸🏴‍☠️⚓️🔱 @hmcrem]

True Story. He isn’t wrong.

[Kristian Bates @BatesKris93]

Not casting a legit martial artist as Johnny Cage.
The tournament should have been in the first movie.
Repeatedly slamming narrative momentum into a brick wall for "Lol awkward" humor.
Cole's very existence.

Can't imagine why it tanked.

[Mischief @MischiefsYT]

We just got an actually good Mortal Kombat movie built entirely around the tournament and guess what, none of you turned up.

[🚨Tone Police 🚨 @roadgrimes]

Here's another clip of James Hetfield saying the SAME THING in 2008 that made all the insufferable cunts angry in 2026.

[Manny🎬🇨🇦 @Manny4p]

The 1980 Jason was nightmare fuel because he looked like a drowned, malformed kid who’d already crossed into something wrong. This version looks like a toddler with a medical condition in a prestige drama.

They’re sanding off the horror so audiences feel sorry for him instead of unsettled by him. Modern horror keeps doing this, every monster has to be a misunderstood outcast now."

[Val @VK_HM]

We get this a lot, really. You ever hear the one about how silent movies involve villains tying women to railroad tracks? This is far, far less evidenced in silent movies than you may think.

[Gordon Freeman @GordoFreem]

The remakes are all amazing games, but it's pretty disappointing how RE2, RE4 & Silent Hill 2 used to have camera angles distinct from one another, and the remakes just homogenised them into the same over the shoulder cameras. Sometimes you can hardly tell the games apart.

[Jester_Bell 🎥 🍿 🥳 @TheresaCampagna]

Nolan wasn’t justified. His fans just won’t accept any criticism.

[Pred @predator467]

Actually you should gatekeep the fuck out of franchises you enjoy because otherwise you have new fans infiltrating the conversation and claiming that everything old is bad/redundant and the new stuff is the best. Just look at what happened to Silent Hill and Resident Evils fans!

[Punished Smegg @DoktorSmegg]

The girls who would like this are 300 pounds and smell like weed constantly

[Kiyah Willis @kiyahwillis]

Students supported Mao

Students supported Castro

Students supported Khomeini

Students supported Hitler

Students supported Mussolini

If find yourself blindly supporting every student lead movement, you’ll be wrong very often, in many eras, on many issues.

[kev @AwestruckVox]

This is partially a consequence of the mid 2010s and multi-hour takedown vids on just about anything that was popular.

People are afraid of being perceived like Rick & Morty fans circa 2018 and overcorrect by scrutinizing the thing they enjoy, to the point they barely like it

[cryptids enthusiast @MarrloEd]

This is what we call beating a dead unicorn.
Something rarer than beating a dead horse.
Mostly because only St George and Siegfried fit this trope but there are more stories subverting it than there are of it.
This is because the average writer is an illiterate hack.

[Possum Reviews @ReviewsPossum]

The average man is stronger than 99% of women. If men collectively decided to kill all women, they could, but they don't because they have no desire to. That's because most men aren't as evil as you want to believe they are.

[Joe Hart @JHartFlips]

“He could have solved world hunger instead of building a flying car”

My brother in Christ,

In 2021 the UN claimed they could solve world hunger with $6 Billion.

Elon offered them the $6 Billion if they were transparent with where the funds were going.

The UN never took his offer.

[Future Wakandan Citizen @Popeyezviewz]

This goes so hard if you wear cookie monster pajamas to the gas station

[Richard “Beebo” Russell @proverbs_14_23]

I’m going to let you in on a secret about rape that I learned while bouncing at 3 nightclubs concurrently for my entire undergrad. 500 nights at the club dealing with women and creeps have produced some insight.

The first thing to understand is that 99% of date-rape cases are just patently false. Every weekend like clockwork a new tiny girl who hadn’t eaten all day would confidently down 5 shots of tequila then claim she was drugged once word got around that she shit herself in a cab, or fell asleep in a dumpster.

I’ve lost count of how many of them were perplexed to report that their drug tests came back clean the next morning.

BUT… In my 500 nights of service, I witnessed it happen for real, bill cosby style, twice.

And in 100% of those cases it was a black or an Indian guy.

The first was a guy named Sohil who had actually openly made some suspect remarks to people I knew. Why was nothing done? Because the concept was so completely alien to the white guys around him that they simply didn’t believe what they were hearing.

It was exactly like the scene from American Psycho where he talks about a girls head on a stick as though it’s the punchline to a joke, and his friends just exchange a weird look and carry on. That’s how crazy the prospect of rape sounds to white guys, he might as well have said he had a head in his freezer.

Ultimately, Sohil was caught trying to sneak into a drugged girl’s bedroom window after her roommates had shuttled her home for the night. He was sentenced to 2 years in prison. There was no international outrage, no big news articles, nothing. Just a post on Facebook shared between the bar staff.

The second was a black guy from Martinique. He was a charming niggardly character who hung around the bars every weekend bumming cigarettes or making a few bucks selling fake cocaine. He lived in someone’s walk-in closet for $300 a month.

He had rumours circulating about his predation, but nobody had anything concrete until he was finally caught inappropriately touching an incapacitated girl and force feeding her drugs.

He was quickly and brutally sentenced to a swift release and a mild scolding from a social worker. He had successfully argued to the judge that people would kill him if he were sent back to Martinique, and was therefore let off with not even a slap on the wrist.

The funniest part of this whole ordeal is that we have reason to suspect that he was a refugee in the first place because he had raped the wrong guy’s sister back home. You genuinely can’t make this shit up.

Word got around to the bars, but this was back in the day. We didn’t have ID scanners, and hiring was a revolving door. Every Fortnite we’d have a new roster of Dianabol enthusiasts standing at the entrance letting groups of bombshells skip the line. It was impossible to entirely keep people out.

And so within 2 months it happened again. Exactly the same as last time. And the black guy hit the judge with the exact same excuse. Luckily the judge finally came to his senses, and sent him back to a third world shithole. He has lived in Paris France ever since.

I tell these stories because I’m at my whits end with headlines like the one I see below. At this point we’re so used to being gaslit that the omission of a description is as good as a 4K portrait.

So I’ll do my small part to set record straight.

It is never the white men.

[Womp Stomp Films @wompstompfilms]

I think Betsy Palmer would have hated this new series because it goes against everything she established with the character.