Batman's Head 🏡

I'm Batman

[Batman's Head 🏡 @Batmans_Head]

@spurs @HEB GSG!

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[RazörFist @RazorFist]

He looks like Sean Connery should be fighting him in an elevator.

[Amy Curtis @RantyAmyCurtis]

You were his best friend and you didn’t know?

Please.

[Adam Carolla @adamcarolla]

We had to listen to this lying hag for four years

[Batman's Head 🏡 @Batmans_Head]

Very disappointed not getting the Dubai egg in my box this morning....very disappointed

[Voodoo Doughnut @VoodooDoughnut]

The Easter Basket Box is available now through 4/5!

Enjoy these limited-edition treats in each box:

🪺 Dubai Chocolate Egg: Packed with creamy pistachio filling, dipped in decadent chocolate frosting, topped with crunchy golden kataifi, and decorated with Voonilla frosting.

[Amy Curtis @RantyAmyCurtis]

You will be raped, assaulted, murdered.

And your government will protect your rapist, abuser, murderer because it believes the bigger crime is racism.

[DaVinci @BiancoDavinci]

Master glass blower and stained glass artist Loren Stump in california has created a “loaf” of glass, called murrine, out of carefully layered glass rods that, when sliced, reveal a painstakingly detailed work of art in cross-section.

Each slice sold for $5000 back in 2014.

[Dave Karger @davekarger]

We’re back! The wonderful @imcarolburnett and I had so much fun last year on @tcm cohosting films she spoofed on The Carol Burnett Show that we’ve done it again. Join us Thurs., Nov. 27 and Fri., Nov. 28 starting at 8ET/5PT for a lineup of musicals & their corresponding sketches.

[Steve Hayes @SteveHayesTOQ]

Happy Birthday BORIS KARLOFF! 🎂 That face. That voice. Irreplaceable! 174 movies including FRANKENSTEIN (1931), BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935), SON OF FRANKENSTEIN (1939), THE MUMMY (1932) & TV's HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS! (1966). My BRIDE #MovieReview https://t.co/XvXdU6DwPB

[Batman's Head 🏡 @Batmans_Head]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[ABC News @ABC]

After more than three decades, Austin police said they've finally identified the man who killed four teenage girls at a yogurt shop in 1991. https://t.co/t8duuoFQIp

[ABC News @ABC]

Officials have announced a local emergency proclamation in response to the rapidly spreading Canyon Fire impacting northern Los Angeles County communities. https://t.co/OIZBnClgws

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Due to a massive earthquake that occurred in the Pacific Ocean, a Tsunami Warning is in effect for those living in Hawaii. A Tsunami Watch is in effect for Alaska and the Pacific Coast of the United States. Japan is also in the way. Please visit https://t.co/V5RZFDxYzl for the latest information. STAY STRONG AND STAY SAFE!

[TMZ @TMZ]

"With an open heart, I wish to share with the world that my beloved husband, Julian McMahon, died peacefully this week after a valiant effort to overcome cancer," McMahon's wife, Kelly, shared in a statement. (via @toofab)
https://t.co/YV3toH6HyZ

[KSAT 12 @ksatnews]

BREAKING- An Elementary school in New Braunfels is being evacuated
due to an ongoing standoff in the area

LATEST DETAILS- https://t.co/0lrXs8glY6

[Tony Plohetski @tplohetski]

NEW: Authorities say one home was leveled, another had "collapse damage" and 24 were damaged in an explosion Sunday in Northwest Austin. The cause remains under investigation. Two people received critical injuries, and several others also were wounded, authorities say.

[KSAT 12 @ksatnews]

Shaquille O’Neal visits his alma mater in San Antonio during Final Four weekend https://t.co/GnudHUKu4M

[KSAT 12 @ksatnews]

Chris Madrid’s, a staple of the San Antono food scene, has announced it will open on Sundays beginning next month, a first for the restaurant’s 48 years of operation. https://t.co/2fFW6eEUHW

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

@aidenHIKO Yes, there are FAR more “eligible” social security numbers than there are citizens in the USA.

This might be the biggest fraud in history.